Even After You Clean Something, Clean it Again!

You find freedom in the things you leave behind, even if those things are not sinful.

Lately, I'm beginning to learn what it means to be placed into "backward ministry". This is something the Lord has called me into recently and was confirmed. I'm learning what I thought was going to be a call into intercessory missionary life and having it turned on me and my vision of the whole thing turned awry.

I'm also learning what it is like to give up things that have been needing let go of for some time. And I've learned that it's not necessarily something that is sinful or leads into a sinful desire or action; but rather something that just causes you to forget who God is and what His power entails. I'm learning that this is how the enemy attacks. He does not instill a hatred of God or for God, but rather a forgetfulness.

"Lucifer" means "Light-Bringer" or "Day Star." Ezekiel calls him "the anointed cherub who covers," which means he was one of the chief angels whose wings covered God's throne in heaven. He is specifically shown to be a created being, possibly the most beautiful, wise, and perfect of God's creations. But this mighty angel grew proud and vain in his beauty. He began to become envious of God's authority over the universe, and over maybe millions of years, he schemed to induce other angels to support him in an attempt to overthrow God. When he finally led one third of the angels (Revelation 12:4) to war against God in heaven, God cast him and his angelic troops back to the earth (Luke 10:18). Satan is the archetype of the self-exalted being, beginning with his attempt to usurp God's throne. And in this you can see that he wants us to forget who God is and how powerful He really can be.

I've also been dealing with things that have come back into my life. Stuff that seems like it classifies itself as "in the Days of Noah" sin. Stuff that you get rid of and move on from but looms over you because the enemy still likes to hoard it over you as if you still bathe yourself in it.

And even after all of this I still feel gross. I was in worship for two services this Sunday morning and the Lord laid something on my heart during the first service that I did not realize really hurt me until I got to a Bible to figure out what He was talking about. The Lord spoke two passages over me that I thought I once knew well. However, Isaiah 1:14 and John 2:13-16 really wrecked me after I read them.

All I could do was almost weap after reading them. Apparently my heart is darker than once thought. The Lord wants me to cleanse my heart of things I know not of.

God Help me! Help a city! Help Fort Wayne! My Soul longs for You! Nothing else will do!