Deep in Your Eyes

Created to Fail: A Destiny (Worth?) It's Fulfillment

2009-08-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

My heart is beating against my chest and suddenly it retracts to pound forth against my spine, and my mouth just wants to scream the "f" word. This repeats. I'm awake now.

Why do I feel this way? Seriously. God what in creation have I done that constitutes you coming down and screwing with my heart like this? Why have I taken this life that you have given me in perfect love and ruined it? How is it that I've forgotten who you are? How do I call myself a Christian and be content with saying that? What does that word even mean Lord? How stupid do I have to be to think that if for one second, or for one fallible person, I could let go of the barriers of my heart? God, dang it, I now know why you have spoken clearly about heart issues. But why has it taken failure, Lord? What did I do to my life that has caused me to feel heartbreak? Why do I feel like blaming you? It's my own fault for pushing you away. Why is it that for one more time I ask: Do you still love me? (to a human, mind you, whom cannot love near as much as you?). Have I not trusted in you enough to say it to me the past 3,000,000,000,000 times you've said it to me in the past waking moments you've allowed me to breathe air on your earth? Where in the hell is my faith?

God I long and pray right now over a young generation - faith of a mustard seed- that should be rooted and bounded in love in Jesus' mighty name over their hearts. Take your love and brand it to them in Jesus name. Brand it to them more than the love of SoS 8:6. If you ever want to "Save our Selves", Beloved I ask of you to read the greatest SoS book in the Bible Song of Solomon. My heart races at how much you love me, yet how disconnected I often feel. I get great exhilaration at how much you love me in the greatest love song ever. The highest romance! Your love for me!

But God I return to the question I've had for a year and a half now: Why, if we were created to be in the likeness of your image and the emodiment of who you are, were [we] I in particular, created to love you and the rest of the world with as much as you love them (if not more) yet most of the time we fail in every way possible? (Genesis 1:26,27) What does unconditional love look like? Because Lord I thought I gave that to someone I loved a long time ago and it seemed to keep the "Raya" part of love as explained throughout the Psalms and Song of Solomon. It kept part of the flame burning for awhile in my relationship but it just did not work. Everything was not there. What was it missing? I've not the slightest doubt that you were missing somewhere in that relationship.

Yet, I knew a relationship would fail unless both of [us] met in Christ, in love with you, and came with a great development of love for you, that then would we be able to begin to love you unconditionally and one another unconditionally. It's what drives the look of love without even the need to say the word. The world calls it the "look" in the eyes, and the Word calls it "love". Why did I try to make it work without involving you?

Love has three Hebrew meanings throughout scripture:

Ahavah-love of the will (making a decision to join your life to the life of another) It makes a relationship last. It is the desire to be nowhere else with nobody else then where you are in the moment (commitment).

Raya- love of friendship (trust; the ability to have faith in and rely on someone--soulmate)

Dode- the love of carousal, fondling. (sexual intimacy)

Lord I'm here now because I desire freedom. I'm here because I desire something more. I desire for you to romance my heart. I'm here because I want to give my life to you. I want you to take my life if that means you need to save Fort Wayne. I desire to be a martyr for Christ. I've been created to fail at trying to love you more than you love me. And I still don't get it. My heart wants to come to a rest, and my mouth just wants to say now "I'm ready to be "F" ree...

Even After You Clean Something, Clean it Again!

2009-08-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

You find freedom in the things you leave behind, even if those things are not sinful.

Lately, I'm beginning to learn what it means to be placed into "backward ministry". This is something the Lord has called me into recently and was confirmed. I'm learning what I thought was going to be a call into intercessory missionary life and having it turned on me and my vision of the whole thing turned awry.

I'm also learning what it is like to give up things that have been needing let go of for some time. And I've learned that it's not necessarily something that is sinful or leads into a sinful desire or action; but rather something that just causes you to forget who God is and what His power entails. I'm learning that this is how the enemy attacks. He does not instill a hatred of God or for God, but rather a forgetfulness.

"Lucifer" means "Light-Bringer" or "Day Star." Ezekiel calls him "the anointed cherub who covers," which means he was one of the chief angels whose wings covered God's throne in heaven. He is specifically shown to be a created being, possibly the most beautiful, wise, and perfect of God's creations. But this mighty angel grew proud and vain in his beauty. He began to become envious of God's authority over the universe, and over maybe millions of years, he schemed to induce other angels to support him in an attempt to overthrow God. When he finally led one third of the angels (Revelation 12:4) to war against God in heaven, God cast him and his angelic troops back to the earth (Luke 10:18). Satan is the archetype of the self-exalted being, beginning with his attempt to usurp God's throne. And in this you can see that he wants us to forget who God is and how powerful He really can be.

I've also been dealing with things that have come back into my life. Stuff that seems like it classifies itself as "in the Days of Noah" sin. Stuff that you get rid of and move on from but looms over you because the enemy still likes to hoard it over you as if you still bathe yourself in it.

And even after all of this I still feel gross. I was in worship for two services this Sunday morning and the Lord laid something on my heart during the first service that I did not realize really hurt me until I got to a Bible to figure out what He was talking about. The Lord spoke two passages over me that I thought I once knew well. However, Isaiah 1:14 and John 2:13-16 really wrecked me after I read them.

All I could do was almost weap after reading them. Apparently my heart is darker than once thought. The Lord wants me to cleanse my heart of things I know not of.

God Help me! Help a city! Help Fort Wayne! My Soul longs for You! Nothing else will do!

New Face

2009-07-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have returned. After a year of Silence, I have finally returned with a newer passion for Jesus. It was quite hard. But what I have learned and what I am continuing to learn even now reiterates the fact that God is ever present and there is no end to his vastness.

I've come to learn a lot about relationships and how to begin to deal with them. And no matter who you run into from time to time we are all people of the Risen King. What you do for someone you are doing for the Kingdom.

I'll have more to come very soon. But for those who have checked and wondered what has happened to me, I'm alive! My calling into the Lord's work has took who I once thought I was and knocked me off of my horse. I thought at the stage I was at a year ago I could never have a Saul to Paul transformation. God just knocked me off of my horse and literally blinded me for about a year and two months.

Most recently, I've learned to "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is simply an option."

May God rest within thee! I'm back and hungry!

Noga

I long to be holy: 1 out of the 7 longings

2008-01-28T16:16:00.001-08:00

I Long to be Holy

CHORUS: I long to be holy just as You are holy LORD, make me holy like You

Purge me and take me through your fire

Make Your will my only desire

For there is none besides Thee

You alone are holy

CHORUS

In the year that king Uziah died

I saw the LORD lifted up on high

And his train filled the temple

And the seraphim flew within

And they cried holy, holy is the LORD God of Hosts.

The whole world is full of His glory

Spoken: And the foundations of the thresholds trembled at the voice of Him Who called out,

While the temple was filling with smoke. Then I said….

Woe is me for I am ruined because I am a man of unclean lips

For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of Hosts, for my eyes have seen

The King, the LORD of Hosts.

Spoken: Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand which he had

Taken from the altar with tongs. And he touched my mouth with it and said, “Behold,

This has touched your lips and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven.”

Isaiah 6: 4-7

CHORUS

Written in Capo 5^th fret this song is birthed from the secret place. I have the notes if anyone would love to know them. It is so amazing! This is a product of the outpouring from my heart for the Lord.

May the glory of the Lord rest upon you and in you in Jesus name!

Noga

Seeking What Is True

2007-11-27T16:23:00.000-08:00

I’m desperate for you oh Lord. I’m seeking and I’m not finding you. I’ve searched the depths, I’ve left my bed. I’m crying out for you, I’m lost. What more is there to do? It’s like I’m stuck in the woods, waiting for you to reveal yourself to me. I’m waiting yes I’m waiting. I’ve followed you for days upon days. I’ve lost my path, I’m weakened now, what do I do? Lord I’ve play find and seek long enough I’m meager now. Weary, and I feel I can’t endure. Lord, good intentions of finding you are not enough. I’m waiting for you to come out of your hiding place. In the middle of the woods where do I look? Tell me a secret, just one word. Just for a whisper, Lord just for a whisper I’d rejoice. Anything to feel your breath upon me, anything to know that you are here. Your comfort is all I’ve sought for weeks now. Restless about the future to come. These days I’ve undergone have broke me. Lord tell me I’m not the only one. I’ve lost hope, lost sight, lost focus—you are the final because for me. Tell me this is the end of my suffering. Lead me to the path that follows you. Take me deeper; make me richer, after you. Where gold is thought of as nothing, and little is thought of as much. Take me past my place of nothing. Past the lies, past the deception, past my flesh. If only I could hear you weeping over me, singing songs with Angels that rejoice. A tear of happiness that brings joy eternal, in the land that never fades or decays. In Jesus name I ask that you would take me, make me hungrier than I have ever been. I’ll be honest Lord not hearing you makes my life suck. It hurts to pray, it even sucks to worship. Reading the word is what feels like dirty labor. And I’ve been dealing with this for weeks now, Lord I just seek now you and you alone. Hearing your voice would make my life greater than it ever has been. I just ask God that your Son would come and illuminate my life. Send your Son to speak to me, for He is what I desire. I yearn for the Voice of the Lord to speak to me through the Word of the Lord. Just a whisper is all I ask in Jesus name. Amen.

[Creative sentence here]! It’s really been awhile since I’ve been on the blogging scene. My reason for stepping away was two-fold. One is that I really did not have much to write about, and I’ve really been working on my writing style thanks to English class. And two I’ve been pondering a few things, like my heart (how glum it is), the church, other religions, and relationships with other people. I came back here really just to sit down and see if anything would come out, and sure enough it did.

That little intro above started out as a song (I just made up seconds earlier than this blog, on a whim) that I started to compile and sing in spontaneous worship, and the last 8 sentences of it are just me in prayer.

The real reason I came back was to elaborate quickly on number two, two paragraphs above this one. The Lord spoke to me just yesterday about the ugliness of my heart. In my complacency in my apathy, I’ve lost sight of the Lord. My heart has become no different than that of the world. I’ve encompassed a dry season of faith that has developed good intentions of finding Jesus. And I’ve realized that good intentions are not enough. Now I’m still a radical and I still share my faith everywhere that I go (I’m working on this too), but for some reason I’ve bought into a lie of the enemy that I’m not good enough—that’s why he took everything away from me. When in reality it was my doing in the first place. I was holding the hand of Jesus walking through the woods, I got tempted, let go, and lost Jesus. (Now I never really got tempted and walked away from the faith, but I just got caught up in worldly desires and put things before Jesus, and essentially made him into a Play-Doh God.) This whole blog is centered around the Song of Solomon theme of me essentially being like the Shulammite longing for my Love. And I desire to go deeper, leave my comfort zone and do whatever it takes. But I first have to find Him again.

It really made me think a lot about the church of this age as well. We really need to embrace the love of God and be taken deeper and made richer in the love of Christ. We need to be all about others centered. We also need to begin to do things out of love and adoration for one another not guarding our eyes, because we feel guilty about not helping one another but because we have that desire to be there for each other as a family. God spoke to me and said that this is the season of Love. The church is entering into a season of love and forgiveness, which is going to birth direct fellowship (more than just a two minute introduction before a service, but a deep collaboration of unity) as it is described through 1 John. This is very significant for the end-times church because in order for the church to say, “Yes Lord, Holy and true are your judgments upon the earth!” when people are readily being killed and things becoming desolate really takes this kind of unity. I believe it and I say Yes Lord!

On another note I’ve really become burdened for false religions particularly Islam, but even moreso other denominations within the Christian faith. I just talked with a few people today that “claim” to know and “love” this Jesus dude-thingy-mabober but have no real clue as to what to do after that. They say that aren’t religious because they don’t have time, or don’t want to be persecuted, or He isn’t going to help me in this life anyway. I really just had a burden for them. Then on top of that a few people told me today how their life sucks and they are pissed off, and nothing ever works out, no one loves them, just on and on and on. I never got the chance to tell them about this Jesus because they took off before I could, but I promise if the opportunity arises again I will! So I encourage you to think about others during this time and really pray for the faith of Islam and other Christians who are on the verge of losing it all.

I also found out recently that apparently this boldness in my faith and sharing it at school is the obvious talk in the gossip realm as well as the small talk realm. I don’t know what I’ve done but I had someone come up to me today as well and call me a philosophical man, whose really encouraged them and I was blown away. I haven’t even really talked to this person outside of my English class either. I just really desire for revival to break out in Carroll High School, and for the rest of the city of Fort Wayne. Create boldness in others Lord! All for the cause of doing Kingdom value work! Let it not be about me, or what I’ve done, yet let it be about what you’ve done through me! I desire to be a vessel partnered with You!

And with that I say Lord, open my eyes to you! Let me become susceptible to what you have to offer. Let me hear from you Lord. Get me out of distractions, and let me repent of my wickedness. Jesus I plead your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation, God end abortion, send revival to America!!!!! Somehow I’m dark but lovely… Lord sing that over this city. A love song of intimacy and relationship. Dwell in this city Lord. We need you. No longer let us be sin city, but the city of Love! In Jesus name I pray! Amen.

Worship: Understanding the Beginning

2007-11-07T19:23:00.001-08:00

Worship is meant to be undignified, unquenchable, undivided, unpredictable, undone, unveiled, unstoppable, unnoticed, unsatisfied, and unending. A deeper meaning than most people would like to agree or believe. Worship should come from the heart and be meant for God and God alone. We all have misconceptions as to what worship is, and how we should go about worship. Obviously I’m no expert and do not even come close to any of these ten aspects of worship, I’ve just come to offer a mere motivation to press deeper into worship because I’ve felt a need recently to express what worship truly is. I don’t have the time to express into full detail every minute aspect of these ten items either, but I will in my mere meek words attempt to articulate to a little degree, to some measure, my view on worship.

Just a little side note that I want to address then I’ll leave you to delve deeper into what has been said, have you ever noticed how cheap words are? With however many thousands of words there are it seems that there is never the proper word to describe the proper emotion. A lot of the time words come close but never satisfy. You want to know why that is? It is because we are disconnected from our Heavenly Father. Once the disconnection happened in Genesis 2, man has had a longing to fill the gap, which was once endlessly filled, of separation between God and man. If there were not a gaping whole between our relationship (thanks to sin) we would not need words to express our emotions because we would already be filled.

That is the calling of worship, which is to be filled. And it is more than that; it is of the connotation that Paul uses in the New Testament, which is that we are to be being filled. We are to be equally yoked with God, continuously. There should be no end to worship, and because of this we should not be satisfied until it happens. There should be the desire within us to pursue the intimacy of God with all that we have. Pursuing the intimacy of God and desiring a deep relationship with Him is the purest act of worship we have on this earth. Our intimacy breeds intercession and intercession breeds’ revival. It shows our commitment and our desire to be partnered with Him. This Love is worship, and there is no calculation that can come close to love. No mixture of anything but God can produce love. Our love on this earth is fake it is not real love. If it were real love, we would all be satisfied and be able to sustain ourselves without God, but because we cannot, our “love” is anything but that. Love fills, and because God is Love that is the only reason things work. And a true relationship with the Living God shouldn’t just fade away or wear out like an old pair of shoes. It is meant to be new every morning, just like the mercy and grace that it responds to.

I have felt recently a calling in my heart, and even more importantly I know this is on God’s heart as well, that there is a call to return to the First Love, this place of romance in worship. The secret place that can only be touched in your worship and prayer time with God is this place of romance. This is God’s invitation to all that are willing. Beloved, we need to not let our worries and our distractions get in the way. We can certainly have them and bring them in with us to worship, but we have to obey Psalm 27:4 and lay our depravity at His feet, and focus on His beauty and not take them out with us when we leave. Our relationship with God could have been based upon anything that God wanted it to be about. It could have been about anything in the world, have you ever thought about that? Guess what God chose to base our relationship on? Worship? Wrong. Prayer? Wrong. God chose to base our relationship on God, himself. The only thing that is perfect, matchless, and holy. God has such unicity and profundity that our love for him should never be quenched. Not with weak words, empty promises, broken dreams, concepts, ideologies, theologies, church, school, work, friends, enemies none of that.

Because of God’s unicity, our worship should be spontaneous. As worshippers of Jesus today, we need to be unpredictable. When we come before God there should always be an aspect of being fresh and unique, it shows that there is a sign of life. Of course, we are creatures of habit and we tend to respond to some aspect of conformity and regularity, which is not a bad thing. God often works through that, but elements of the familiar that are reassuring can also be destructive. Tradition alone can become lifeless, existing to please itself, and not God, which leaves no room for spontaneous love. When we meet together on say Wednesday nights or Sunday morning structure is good (having a general plan or idea of what songs are going to be played), it should never be allowed to strangle life or the Holy Spirit. We should not cut worship short just because we have got a few new visitors in the room, or because we don’t want to freak them out. We need to be real before the God who made us and before society. Beloved, I’m convinced that this generation and the generations before us are bored with religion and tradition. They are so bored with our schedules, and our routines that if we would just shake things up a bit and invite God into everything that we do, this life would be so much greater. We have more in this day and age than ever before, we have more churches, seminaries, conventions, worship sets, trips, getaways, events, lock-ins, retreats you name it we have it. And yes God is there, but I ask you to question this one thing, are we allowing God to do his full work or are we just allowing him to sit there because our love, attention, and worship are focused on other things? I mean really? Am I just babbling at the mouth and speaking meaningless things or am I getting somewhere with my point?

In no way did I write this to convict you. I wrote this to offend you. I love a faith that offends, I desire it, I long to be the greatest radical this world has ever known other than Jesus, to which I am not even comparable. I wrote this so that the next time you enter in to the presence of God you would begin to question yourself and actually get honest before the God that made you. I really desire that each and every one of you would take up the Spirit of whatever it takes for the God of the universe and worship him with all that you have. Embrace these ten qualities of true intimate worship the next time you press through and see how much God changes your time with Him. See how much God moves. There will be the divine element of a relationship with Jesus that is birthed out of the secret place and will begin to manifest itself in your daily life.

With that being said:

Lord again I come to you asking that you would come and meet us where we are. Unveil yourself Jesus. We need to meet with you. We need to chat and have a true relationship with you. God I ask that you would come. Would you release your angels of worship from heaven? Send worship angels from heaven that would come and transform our way of thinking about how worship should be. I’m pleading with you that as we embrace this idea of worship that it would be a true thing that is not faked because we want to look like we are meeting you. Father I understand that there are days where we just need to trudge and battle, seek and not find. And Lord because of those days would you make that one day in worship where you really meet us, be so much worth every second of every day that we traveled through muddy waters. I really ask and desire this in Jesus name. Lord don’t ever let us leave you alone until you bless us with your name like you did with Jacob. Father never let us become satisfied with you in our flesh so that it would hinder our ability to press and desire more of you. Let our worship never end for you are never ending. Let us become undignified like David for your glory to be revealed to every believer and unbeliever alike through worship. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

This is soooo me right now. I cant believe how much this video describes me

2007-10-26T08:37:00.001-07:00

A little bit more on fasting!

2007-10-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

Well, let's just dive right in with a word of prayer. Father in the name of Jesus we ask that you would teach us oh Lord what it really means to know you in every way. I say let the knowledge and revelation of fasting come into light! Let the eyes be opened in this hour. We want to know you not only when are bellies are full, but when are bellies are empty, for we know God that when our body becomes too full of earthly pleasure, our spirits can become empty, and we know that when our bellies are empty, there is no choice but to cry out that our spirits may be full! I say let the awakening of a fasting generation begin!! Let the army of Nazerite fasters and warriors arise! We have got to learn how to use this ancient tool again! We pray that we would not be overcome by the pleasures of this world, but that there would be a holy desperation for you that overtake the desire for the bread of this world!!! I say let there be a desperate crying out for God in this hour! Release the fast that breaks off yokes, and brings revival to America! In the name of Jesus we pray... amen.

Ok! Let's look at the three kinds of fasts that are talked about in the word of God. The first is the "supernatural fast". Ex. 34:27, 28 talks about Moses' fast. He was led up to the mountain not just once, but twice, and these verses talk about how he neither ate bread nor drank water. A person could not go very long without water, but Moses was supernaturally sustained by God. If you were to go on this kind of fast, more than 3 days (like Esther) it would be dangerous.

The next kind of fast the bible talks about is the "total fast". This is basically, a water fast. This is the general kind of fast that is referred to in the word. When the people would call a fast, this would be the kind of fast (unless specified) that sometimes even whole nations would take. Did you know that it is a scientific fact that the hunger leaves after about 3 - 5 days? Honestly! Try it out! You, who have done a fast longer than this, can testify.

The last fast that the bible talks about is the Daniel fast. Most people have a misconception of the Daniel fast. They think that it is a fruits and vegetables fast, but Daniel 10:3, says that Daniel took "no pleasant food." In the original Hebrew context, the word pleasant means "delicacies." "I ate no delicacies". This is how people can fast different kinds of foods. All three fasts are effective; it is just a matter of which the Lord is leading you to do.

Lets think together real quick. Obviously, fasting is not for God, it's for us. Fasting does not make God any more powerful than He already is, He is all powerful! Fasting is a way for you to humble yourself, so that you may be emptied out in the flesh to be filled up in the spirit. We must decrease, He must increase!!! Fasting is for us!

In Matthew 10:1 Jesus gave the disciples power over ALL KINDS of spirits to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness, and all kinds of disease! Then go down to verse 8 where it says "heal the sick, cleanse the leper, raise the dead, cast out devils! Freely you have received, freely give!"; Now over in chapter 17 verse 14 it talks of a boy who had a spirit, whom the disciples could not cure. If they had been given power over ALL KINDS, then shouldn't this spirit that the boy had come under that category? I mean, all kinds, is all kinds!

After Jesus cleansed the boy the disciples came to Him privately, and asked Him, "why could we not cast it out?" what's the first thing He says to them? It sure isn't, "because this demon was too powerful for you" because they had already been given power over all kinds. Instead it is "because of your unbelief"!! He then goes on to teach them about faith-not demons!! Read the passage right now! The last thing He tells them in this passage is that "this kind only come out by prayer and FASTING". It is my conviction that Jesus was not speaking about this kind of demon, because they already had power over all kinds, but I believe that Jesus was saying (get ready for a paradigm shift!) "This kind of doubt, this kind of unbelief...;ect."only come out by prayer and fasting! They had power over all kinds, but they didn't have the faith to activate it!! They hadn't yet taken the time to seek God in prayer mixed with FASTING! Fasting brings a new kind of demon conquering faith! It brings council from heaven that releases MIGHT!! Let's look at this!

In Luke chapter 4 verse 1, Jesus was "filled" with the Holy Spirit. He is then led by the spirit into the wilderness, where He enters a 40 day fasting and prayer season. Now, look at verse 14 of chapter 4. It says "then Jesus returned (from the wilderness) in the POWER of the Holy Spirit"!! You see, you can be filled with the spirit, but after a fasting and prayer season, you will have the power of the spirit!! I tell you, that this world needs to experience the power of the spirit! What separates us from the Buddhists, from the Muslims, from the Mormons, and from the Hindus? The power of God! We need it! There is an anointing to match and overtake the extremity of the times!!

Fasting, when done in the right manner of secrecy, is called an "acceptable day" to the Lord! Isaiah 58 starting at verse 6 talks about "the kind" of fast the Lord has chosen for us. Verse 6 lists what fasting does. It is to "loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yolk!" Verse 7 goes on to list what you should do when fasting, "share your bread, give to the poor, cloth the naked, help other people" and then verse 8 starts listing what will happen if we do these things, ";your light shall break forth, your healing shall spring forth speedily, righteousness shall go before you, you shall be guarded by God's glory, and you shall call and the Lord will answer"! We see here that the list of blessing is bigger than the list of sacrifices. This passage is full of the richness of the table of the Lord!

I want to look again at verse 6 there at the last thing listed that fasting will do..."break every yoke." I want to show you something here. If you look at Isaiah 10:27 we see that yokes are only destroyed because of the anointing! So the word actually shows us here that, if fasting destroys the yoke, and the anointing is what breaks the yoke, then fasting brings a fresh breaker anointing!! Praise God!! Fasting is so powerful for the disciple who would be willing to do it.

Lastly, I want to leave you with a thought from the book of Matthew. Jesus expects those who call themselves His disciples to fast! In chapter 6 verse 16 Jesus said, "WHEN you fast..." Then in verse 17 He again said, "WHEN you fast..."; Jesus was teaching His disciples "when you fast". "Not if you fast". He expects you to fast if you call yourself a disciple! Then over in chapter 9 verse 15 of Matthew, Jesus said, "... the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then they will fast." He didn't say "then they might fast". We are now in this season that Jesus prophesied about! The season where the bridegroom has gone to prepare a place for us and until He returns, we should have seasons of prayer mixed with fasting. So I challenge you now as you read this to not wait for God to "call" you to a fast. Most of the time in the word, the people were the ones "calling" the fasts! He expects you to do it! Let today become an "acceptable day"to the Lord!! Let's pray!

Father I ask you right now that you would release the grace of fasting! Let it come my God on my generation! Let it bring that yolk destroying anointing to a desperate people! Pour out your name on us Jesus!! Smear us with your name! I ask right now that the people would be stirred! That a hunger for you would overtake the hunger for the pleasures of earth! Let it come my God in Jesus' mighty matchless name!!! Amen!!

Massive amounts of Injustice

2007-09-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

These three words should never be used in the same sentence, let alone be a reality. But for millions of the world's most vulnerable citizens, these words define their childhood descent into sexual slavery.

The trafficking and rape of children for profit is one of the darkest stories on the planet. This physical, mental and emotional trauma leaves children broken and scarred for life. Interventions for these children
are critical to their survival. This is why JFCI exists.

Justice for Children International works toward the abolition of child sex trafficking and exploitation, and cares for the survivors.

That's all I have to say... now proceed with watching this video... but first I ask that you get a whole bunch of tissues ready for yourself. I wept forever... and internally I'm still weeping.

Justice For Children Intl. - Abolish Child Sex Trafficking

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I'm banned from writing long blogs... and i'm sad.

2007-09-19T13:33:00.001-07:00

Prayer

It's the very fiber of who we are as Christians, it is our highest calling. There is no higher calling than prayer. Having a radical prayer life will change who you are in God. And there is coming a time when praying exceedingly is going to be the norm of our daily lives. Many people don't realize the importance of prayer, what prayer really is, or why it even works. Prayer is what we were called to do, it's the closest thing to intimacy with God that we have here on this earth. Prayer is intercession and intercession breeds revival. And prayer is as simple as just talking with the heavenly father. It isn't some outrageous thing that is meant only for the "super spiritual". And the reason prayer works is because we have a heavenly Father who is in heaven praying exceedingly night and day for the Father to have mercy upon us. And our God wouldn't ask us to do something He wouldn't do himself. Beloved that is why we need to take advantage and talk with our heavenly Father and commit to that radical life of fasting and prayer as it talks about in Joel 2. If for nothing else do it for the fact that you and I don't know the day or the hour and the only thing we can do is to pray and prepare the way for the Risen Lord. We need to come back to the First Love as John talks about in 1 John and seek out the heart, knowledge, and eternal purposes of God through prayer

So that is all I have... I would have written more but I got ridiculed the last time I did. So ya. I hope this makes sense and didnt hurt anyone's eyes reading.

Noga

[and rest assured that i'm only kidding when i say i'm sad that i cant write long blogs... i just didnt have the time to write a long one before church.. besides... this is just a copy of what i had to write for youth group. of which i have no clue of the usage that this is going to be used for.]

Prophetic Worship on a whim!

2007-09-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

He’s preparing a wedding! (x10)

Will you come? Will you come? (x15)

The Eternal wedding!(x4) … For the Bride! (x4)

Are you ready? (x10) … For the Bride! (x10)

So He can glorify Himself…

Celebrate! (x20)

Celebrate the King! (x5)

For God is a lover! (x3)

Are you ready? (x3) Are you ready for Him? (x3)

From Isaiah 51! (x10)

He is coming! For the Bride we’ll see! (x4)

He’s releasing His angels! (x5)

He is a Bridegroom!

Like the Saints when they go marching in!

Enter His presence! (x15)

He’s got a musical note! (x3)

That will ravish the hearts when it’s strummed out by angels! (x5)

Playing harps! Playing harps with the angels! (x5)

Are you ready to come? (x15)

Creation is groaning! (x10)

He’s calling you! (x3)

He’s beckoning you! (x3)

Will you sacrifice all for the one who came?

He’s pouring like a rainbow the fragrance of God! (x2)

It’s overwhelming to man! (x5)

Are you ready? (x3)

Through triumphal procession…

Line up!… creation get in line for the Bridegroom! (x3)

He’s preparing a wedding! (x5)

There is victory there is hope for destruction! For creation! (x2)

Sound the Alarm! (x12)

All creation!

Tell your friends (x10)

He is coming! (x7)

He’s gathering an army!

Celebrate He is coming! (x2)

Cling to prayer! For revival is coming! (x3)

For God is a lover of souls! (x3)

He’s sending an army!

Come to the feast All you needy! Come to the feast All you broken! (x2)

You are welcome to the wedding! All creation is invited!

Come to the royal palace! (x2)

Sit next to the king! (x10)

And judge angels…

Don’t leave your friends! (x12)

You are His! (x12)

Don’t leave His friends!

Don’t leave His friends behind! (x3)

Jesus is coming!

Awake! Rejoice! For God is a lover! (x2)

Rejoice!

Sound the Alarm! Sound the Alarm for every nation! (x2)

Sound the Alarm for LIFE! (x5)

He’s preparing a wedding for you and your friends! (x3)

You’re invited through the Son!

Through the Son! (x7)

All the lost! And the weak and the broken! (x3)

You’re invited first! Because I love you! (x2)

My love for you is perfect! (x2)

I have heard your cry! (x2)

I’m answering it with revival!

………………………………………… (short time elapse… approximately 2 minutes)

Generation Y is Generation One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (x5)

You are the ending generation!

My prophesy will be through you! (x3)

I’m un-pressing the pause button of Heaven! (x3)

--------------------------------------------------------

I must break in now and say this... this happened to me today at 6:07 pm... completely and utterly unexpected. I went to put in a worship CD at around 6:00 I sat down at my desk turned on my computer... and all of a sudden the Holy Spirit came over me. I started with the first line.... then all of a sudden God said record this, what I'm about to speak through you! So I immediately recorded myself. Screaming and all. Then as I was writing this I had a vision... of angels in heaven playing along the tune of this song. And I'm here now at 9:18 pm to offer my best interpretation of what happened. This song went on for literally and hour ending at 7:07pm... and the part where it describes a time lapse is where the holy spirit came over me in prayer. It was so soft I couldnt record what I was praying but just know this... everything that is written is exactly how I sang it! And the little approximations off to the side ie (x3) is literally how many times I said either that line or phrase.

And now, for a general interpretation, seeing as this is prophetic, it in my opinion requires at least somewhat of an interpretation. The first few lines are really just about the coming King... the second coming. Then all of a sudden I started literally singing "From Isaiah 51!" and I read Isaiah 51... and it completely goes along with this song. Especially the points where its saying "awake awake!" Then shortly after that I start talking about angels, I believe this is the time where I saw a vision of the heavens and angels playing along to this song! It was massive! And then the Saints are marching into the presence of Jesus which is basically all of the saved who made it into heaven. And the vision continues on into the musical note lines and up through the he's calling you and he's beckoning you! And then we've got an interesting line, one of "Will you sacrifice all for the one who came?" I believe it is referencing two important passages in the Old Testament scripture and in the Gospels. Hosea 6:6, and 1John 4:10. The idea of the greatest sacrifice already being payed and that we need to take up the cross and be a living sacrifice for Him. Then another interesting line "He's pouring out like a rainbow the fragrance of God!" referencing several important scriptures Psalm 145:7, 2 Cor. 2:14-15, S.O.S. 1, Joel 2. I could go on and on about that but the main idea should be revealed through those passages. Then in the next line it is referencing Isaiah 51, I believe, when it talks about there is hope for creation but in the most general terms... pretty much all of Isaiah. "Sound the Alarm" comes from Joel 2. And then I've got like the next 6 or 7 lines that I dont really have a scriptural basis for other than its prophetic and I dont know where it came from other than God. I've never heard or said those lines of words anywhere but when I was singing it. So ya. I can kind of say that its continuing with Joel 1 and 2 when God is gathering an army. The line where it says "Come to the Royal Palace" is scripturally backed up with Psalm 27... particularly the beauty of the Lord in verses 1 through 4. Now, the judging angels line! This is something that has blown my mind for quite sometime and I've kind of pondered it and forgotten about it until recently. In 1 Cor. 6:3 Paul is writing of something massive! The fact that one day we as creation will be judging angels. I dont think many people realize the massisivity of that! I have no clue what that is about but I have a general idea and it is this. I believe that in the Eternal Kingdom we, the people of it, will one day judge "fallen angels" which goes scripturally all the way back to the Nephilim in Genesis 6:4, which are essentially fallen demonic angels that were on the earth and the main reason for the cause of the flood. And thats another story for another time. Anyway back to the song, so after that judging angels line I'm again back to what appears to be just singing some prophesy up until the last two lines. The line where it says "My prophesy will be through you!" isnt, in my opinion, just talking about me. Matter of fact I know it isnt. The truth of the matter is this, God is using that "you" in its Hebrew form which is plural meaning "us" as a creation. And It comes scripturally again from Joel 2 where it says "I will pour out my spirit and your sons and daughters will prophesy". And the last and final line goes as such. I have no clue what it means but it sounds cool. But I do think it means this; God is un-pressing the pause button of heaven because He is moving forward with His plan and the end of the earth is near! So that is pretty much my general interpretation of what this is all about. Please let me know what you think! I love you guys!

Noga

psalm eighteen. (I’ll write about it when im not messed up, but check it out!!!)

2007-08-27T14:56:00.001-07:00

Current mood: drunk
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Psalm 18

For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD. He sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:

1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.

2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn ^[a] of my salvation, my stronghold.

3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

4 The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave ^[b] coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

7 The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.

8 Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

9 He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

10 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

13 The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded. ^[c]

14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.

15 The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

20 The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

21 For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
I have not done evil by turning from my God.

22 All his laws are before me;
I have not turned away from his decrees.

23 I have been blameless before him
and have kept myself from sin.

24 The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

26 to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

27 You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.

28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

29 With your help I can advance against a troop ^[d] ;
with my God I can scale a wall.

30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

38 I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.

39 You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

40 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.

41 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.

42 I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.

43 You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
you have made me the head of nations;
people I did not know are subject to me.

44 As soon as they hear me, they obey me;
foreigners cringe before me.

45 They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.

46 The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!

47 He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,

48 who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me.

49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.

50 He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
to David and his descendants forever.

The Seafarer... a poem with an anointing

2007-08-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

I can tell the true riddle of my own self, and speak of my experiences - how I have often suffered times of hardship in days of toil, how I have endured cruel anxiety at heart and experienced many anxious lodging-places afloat, and the terrible surging of the waves. There the hazardous night-watch has often found me at the ship's prow when it is jostling along the cliffs. My feet were pinched by the cold, shackled by the frost in cold chains, whilst anxieties sighed hot about my heart. Hunger tore from within at the mind of one wearied by the ocean. This that man does not understand, who is most agreeably suited on land - how I, wretchedly anxious, have for years lived on the ice-cold sea in the ways of the sojourner, bereft of kinsfolk, hung about by ice-spikes; hail pelted in showers. There I heard nothing but the raging of the sea, the ice-cold wave. Sometimes I would take the song of the swan as my entertainment, the cry of the gannet and the call of the curlew in place of human laughter, the sea-mew's singing in place of the mead-drinking. There storms would pound the rocky cliffs whilst the tern, icy-winged, answered them; very often the sea-eagle would screech, wings dappled with spray. No protective kinsman could comfort the inadequate soul.

He, therefore, who has experienced life's pleasure in cities, and few perilous journeys, insolent and flown with wine, little credits how I, weary, have often had to remain on the ocean path. The shadow of night would spread gloom; it would snow from the north, rime-frost would bind the ground; hail, coldest of grains, would fall upon the earth.

Now, therefore, the thoughts of my heart are in conflict as to whether I for my part should explore the deep currents and the surging of the salty waves - my mind's desire time and time again urges the soul to set out, so that I may find my way to the land of strangers far away from here - for there is no one on earth so confident of temperament, nor so generous of his gifts, nor so bold in his youth, nor so courageous in his deeds, nor his lord so gracious to him, that he never worries about his seafaring, as to what the Lord will send him; he will have no thought for the harp, nor for the ring-receiving ceremonial, nor for the pleasure of a woman nor for trust in that which is of the world, nor for anything else, but only for the surging of the waves - and yet he who aspires to the ocean always has the yearning.

The woodlands take on blossoms, the cities grow more lovely, the meadows become beautiful, the world hastens onwards: all these urge anyone eager of mind and of spirit, who thus longs to travel far upon the ocean paths, to the journey. The cuckoo too serves warning by its mournful cry; summer's herald sings and foretells cruel distress at heart. That man, the fellow blessed with affluence, does not understand this - what those individuals endure who follow the ways of alienation to their furthest extent.

Now, therefore, my thought roams beyond the confines of my heart; my mind roams widely with the ocean tide over the whale's home, over earth's expanses, and comes back to me avid and covetous; the lone flier calls and urges the spirit irresistibly along the whale-path over the waters of oceans, because for me the pleasures of the Lord are more enkindling than this dead life, this ephemeral life on land. I do not believe that material riches will last eternally for him. One of three things will ever become a matter of uncertainty for any man before his last day: ill-health or old age or the sword's hostile violence will crush the life from the doomed man in his heedlessness.

For every man, therefore, praise from the living, speaking out afterwards, is the best of epitaphs: that, before he has to be on his way, he accomplishes gains against the malice of fiends, brave deeds in the devil's despite, so that the sons of men may afterwards extol him, and his praise may endure for ever and ever among the angels, and the splendour of his eternal life and his pleasure endure among the celestial hosts.

The days have been slipping away, and all the pomps of the kingdom of earth. There are not now kings nor emperors nor gold-giving lords like those that used once to be, when they performed the greatest deeds of glory among themselves and lived in most noble renown. This whole company has perished; the pleasures have slipped away. The weaker remain and occupy the world; in toil they use it. Splendour had been humbled. Earth's nobility ages and grows sear just as each man now does throughout the middle-earth. Old age advances upon him, his face grows pallid, grey-haired he mourns: he is conscious that his former friends, the sons of princes, have been committed to the earth. Then, when life fails him, his body will be unable to taste sweetness of feel pain or stir a hand or think with the mind. Although a brother may wish to strew the grave with gold for his kinsman, to heap up by the dead man's side various treasures that he would like to go with him, the gold he hides in advance while he lives here cannot be of help to the soul which is full of sins, in the face of God's awesomeness.

103	Great is the awesomeness of the ordaining Lord, for this world will pass away; but he made stable the solid foundations, the earth's surfaces and the sky above. Foolish is he who does not fear his Lord: death will come upon him unpremeditated. Blessed is he who lives in humility: to him will come grace from the heavens. The ordaining Lord will make stable his heart, because he trusts in his might. A man must steer a wilful heart and keep it fixed upon stable points; and, worthy of men's trust and pure in his ways, each man must conduct himself with moderation through happiness and through adversity, in joy and in affliction, even if the Lord wills to prove him, permeated by fire, or assay, smelted in the flame, the friend he has made. Fate is stronger, the ordaining Lord mightier, than the mind of any man.

117	Let us consider where we may have a home, and then think how we may get there and how we may henceforth also strive so that we might arrive in everlasting blessedness, where there is life originating in the Lord's love, and hope, in the heavens.

122	Thanks be to the Holy One, that he has made us worthy, the Prince of glory, everlasting Lord, through all time. Amen.

Wasn't this poem great???? I truly believe with all of my heart that this poem has an annointing upon it. If I could show you my copy of this poem with all of my notes on it and all of the biblical references that I have written all over it. I'll just list all of what I have then I'll let you read through them and see that there are so many references that I probably missed a lot of them. When I get on this again tomorrow I will update this with my thorough version of notes. And I have never been this excited before to read a poem for school until today. And I must say that if this is any occasion of how my school year is going to go with my readings I might be blogging daily. So ya. My references for this poem are Romans 8:28-39, Matthew 6:19-24, the whole book of Hebrews, Revelation chapters 4,5,10,15..., Genesis 3:8-15, Genesis 6, Matthew 7:12. I will get on again tomorrow and finish updating my notes on this poem. I hope you really enjoyed this. I love you guys!

Noga

P.S. I couldnt find the original translation that I have a copy of but I do like this translation just as much and I do owe the credit of this poem not only to the website http://www.apocalyptic-theories.com/literature/seafarer/seafarer.html but I also owe credit to S.A.J. Bradley for his copy and effort put forth in the translation of this poem.

Feeling kind of musical with my TEARS... what?

2007-08-17T17:42:00.001-07:00

An interesting revelation of the Psalms and pretty much all of the musical parts of the bible has come over me the past couple of days. I have realized something interesting that is hidden within the bible. How many of you know about TEARS? Ok well maybe you do, but do you know what you are supposed to be doing when you have those TEARS? Well David, the powerful man of God, that he was knew about these TEARS and what you were supposed to be doing with them. I love David! David... I could go on and on about David forever. This man is a true man that pleased God and found favor before Him. This should be our heart CRY too. To please the heart of God. I'm just going to jump right into this and explain as I go along. So this is sort of going to be a ramble session... well maybe. Who knows. I'll see where God takes it.

Psalm 39:12-13

12 "Hear my prayer, O LORD,
listen to my CRY for help;
be not deaf to my WEEPING.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.

13 Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more."

Wow right? Did you know that you were supposed to be praying your TEARS? Well I am here to tell you that you are. And that is exciting. I believe this is the heart of true intercession. This is truly an act of touching and moving the heart of God. If David did this... I believe in this very minute God is commanding us to follow in the footsteps of David. To pray like David prayed. To CRY like David cried. This is intercession. This is intimacy. Stepping before the father and admitting you are weak. CRYING to you. Saying Abba... I need you here with me, do you not see my TEARS? That is what David did. I believe after this God completely wept over David and said this is what I've been doing over you since you were born. Guys I believe God has been CRYING over this nation since its foundation in Genesis 1:1. We WERE MADE TO EXPERIENCE THE EMOTIONS OF GOD!!!. I believe wholeheartedly that this world has bought into the lie of religion that our God is not emotional. What the? I mean has this world not read Genesis 1:26. We were created in the likeness of HIS image.

Genesis 1:26

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, ^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.

If we were made in the image of God... then where do you think we get our emotions from? Do you think that God would give us something he didnt already have? Guys our God is an emotional God. He has deep emotions. We cannot believe this lie that he doesnt. I'm not ok with that. That bothers me to think that some people think My God doesnt have emotions enough to care what you are going through. I dont care what you are going through, how big or how small, Our God cares. He even cares about the little things. Yes, even the little "I need a dollar to go buy a pop at the vending machine because its hot out". So therefore I believe we are supposed to be praying out TEARS whether of joy or of sadness. Our God cares that much. Our God literally responds by opening doors in heaven and invites you into His house because you are moving and touching His heart soooo much. God longs to take you off of this earth and show you the deep things of God. But God doesnt want that to be just for heaven. God wants to talk with you now. God wants to know (even though he already does know) how you are feeling. God just wants to hear the sound of your voice happy or sad. That's because he's emotional and he's lovesick for you. God's plan is eternal and CRYING out to Him is true intercession at the heart level. I love intercession!!!! Anyway, focusing again:

Psalm 126

A song of ascents.

1 When the LORD brought back the captives to ^[a] Zion,
we were like men who dreamed. ^[b]

2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."

3 The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.

4 Restore our fortunes, ^[c] O LORD,
like streams in the Negev.

5 Those who SOW in TEARS
will reap with songs of joy.

6 He who goes out WEEPING,
carrying seed to SOW,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

We need to "sow" in TEARS. What is being referenced there is praying. We need to pray in TEARS. In my opinion TEARS should be prayer and prayer should be TEARS. Why? Because that shows that not only we are interacting with God but God is interacting with us. That is the heart of intimacy. And we all know that intimacy is a two way interaction. We werent created to just love God. God loves us. And when we come to him "sowing in TEARS" we will reap songs of joy. So therefore the next prayer time you have before God, ask Him to consume you with TEARS. Or maybe just think about God (which we were commanded to do in Colossians anyway) and HE will consume you with TEARS. I dont know. I dont know what your prayer life is like. But I suggest if you havent been feeling the love of God lately to come back to God with your TEARS and ask Him say "God do this for me, hear my prayer O Lord, be not deaf to my WEEPING" (Psalm 39 from earlier). I guarantee that will touch the Fathers heart and cause him to come back to you like a rushing wind. I guarantee that his voice will thunder over the earth and he will surround you with protection. Psalm 29 already says that His voice is thundering over the waters. In Psalm 130 David was CRYING OUT to God asking Him to deliver him from his enemy's. And God did.

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I CRY to you, O LORD;

2 O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my CRY for mercy.

3 If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

So dont think CRYING TEARS wont move the heart of God. Even a CRYING voice will move the heart of God. He is the greatest father of Love. He has a thing for TEARS. He has a thing for YOU when you are in need. God cares.

Psalm 5

For the director of music. For flutes. A psalm of David.

1 Give ear to my words, O LORD,
consider my SIGHING.

2 Listen to my CRY for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.

3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

I have come to realize in the time that I spent with God during the whole duration of my time that I've known Him the greatest way to encounter God is in the morning. Now obviously if I had encountered this psalm before I would have known that it was very biblical to have encounters with God in the morning. But thanks to my excellent friend and Spiritual Father Joshy Hawkins I found out a unique way to encounter God in the morning. It's praying in the shower in the dark! I could explain story after story of this, and I've only been doing this for 3 weeks now. But I recommend it. Now I'm not saying that you cant have better encounters with God in the evening but its a great time to be with God in the morning. Number 1 because its quieter. In my opinion God likes peace. Number 2 because "we" personally dont have much going on in the morning, obviously because we are just waking up, so therefore we can focus more of us UNTO HIM. And that is what we are required to do, Paul is very clear about that in Corinthians and Ephesians. So if we just abide in Him and give Him our everything even our very own emotions that God has allowed us to have. We will have a Psalm 40 moment.

Psalm 40

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my CRY.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods. ^[a]

So Guys I'm asking you in this very moment to consider where you are at with God. I'm even going to examine my own relationship with Him. If you are struggling with God, if you are hiding something from God I ask that you go before Him and get that resolved. We need to be praying our TEARS. When you have "nothing else" to pray... pray your TEARS. Pray your feelings to God. He cares, even though he already knows your feelings he wants to hear them from you. I think that your voices changes the mind of God. Matter of fact I know that the sound of your voice, changes the mind and heart of God. You move the heart of God. You touch the heart of God like that of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Even when you are silent with the emotions God gave you, YOU ravish the heart of God. Song of Solomon 4:9, 6:5. Even your eyes move the heart of God. And Guys praying your TEARS is the same as looking at God. And in SOS God is very clear that when you look at Him you burn Him with a passion for you. You are beautiful to Him, no matter where you are in your walk with Him. So Sing unto God a new song today. Forget the "religious", as well as the "religiously correct". Talk to God in your own personal way. Sing to Him your troubles and God will take them, break them, and replace them with a love for Him. I promise you that much.

Father I come before you now because Lord you have been the dwelling place of my heart all along. God you are the dwelling place of my heart. God I pray that as much as I may ravish your heart, I pray that you would ravish my heart and the hearts of this nation with your love. God I pray that you would bring us out of our troubles God. God I pray for the spiritually sick God. I pray for those who are under deep attack from the enemy right now. Those people who are afraid to express their emotions before anyone. Abba I just pray that they could come before you and feel the comfort of you. God kiss them. Love them. Embrace them God. Never let them Go. Father I just pray right now for the fatherless generation God that you would break through in this very moment. God touch the lives of the lost and unsuspecting God. Share your love to them. Teach me to love them as you love them God. Teach me to number my days aright God. Let me live for today. Let me live for your kingdom today O God. Teach me how I can turn a miracle back unto you in this very age God. I want to bring us back to you God. Use me in a unique way God that is for your glory and your glory only. Father spread your love through me like a spiritual hose God. Let me quench the fire that the enemy is burning. And build up a new fire in hearts God that would bring them back to you. God thunder your voice through me God. Thunder your holiness in me God. Grip me and the nation God. Turn this nation away from Baal. Bring this nation out of Numbers 5 God. Bring this nation out of the issue of marital unfaithfulness God and the sexualism that drives secularism. Bring this nation away from the issue of adultery. God let us divorce those issues in the very moment God. Daddy I ask you that you have mercy upon this nation God. Let me stand in the gap and repent for the sins of my nation God. Let me repent of my own sins. Let me be humble before you. Teach me live love for you and in you. Teach this nation that. Daddy I ask that you do this for me. Please Abba. I'm begging and pleading of you. Rejuvenate the nation of God. the nation of America. Bring this nation under you, like we so pledge it. Let our allegiance be from you through you and to you. In Jesus name.... Daddy I love you. Will you do this for me father? Please... it's my heart cry daddy. Give your gift of unconditional love to this nation. please, I pray these things in your Mighty Son's name.

Amen

Who ever said that wrong wasnt right? I love being wrong!!!!!

2007-08-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have come to the conclusion that I love arguing with God. I just do. It's amazingness. I love telling God that I'm right and he's wrong. Why? Because I know that every time I do that God is proving to me that His ways are greater than mine. And I know that His ways are greater than mine. And he proves it to me. I admit that. So I can therefore say I'm wrong. Always. But being wrong is right. Because for me standing before the Father of creation and saying I'm wrong is just amazing. Ok. I love that. That puts me in the place of being humble and saying God you are my everything. Therefore I think I am going to always argue with God. I love it. Because, honestly, who wants to stand before the Lord of all perfection and the Lord of Judges and say "I'm right"???? Like who on earth has the audacity to tell God that they are right? Now you are thinking... you just said you do that just about 6 sentences ago Eric what is wrong with you? And I do... but you know what... me telling God that I am right is God telling me that I need to trust in Him and put my faith in Him. And let me tell you something. Let me just break something to you. Every person on this earth has unfaithfulness toward God. Period. Bam. Shazam. Every person no matter where you are in your walk with God is completely and utterly unfaithful to Him somewhere in your heart. Let me illustrate something powerful that God has begun to speak to me about. In the Gospels... Jesus asks his disciples a very important question. A question that has gripped me. A question that affects me. Jesus asks.... in Matthew 16. "Who do YOU say that I am?" and he is asking that to Peter. Now Peter replies perfectly... but this question is massive. Because I believe that God wants to speak this to the church today. I believe that God is asking Who do YOU say that I am? Really and truly who do you say that I am? Because God knows the answer that you give when you are at church or around other believers. But lemme break something to you. In your inner man who do you believe that God is? In your heart of hearts who do you believe God to be? I guarantee that YOU have a different answer of who God REALLY is deep in your heart that you dont reveal to other people. I'm talking that belief where you dont really trust God with all of your heart in certain areas of your life. That part where you just aren't really sure if God can do what he said he will do. That area where you are like "God I love you but this cant be you, it just cant". I mean i'll be honest here and say that even I have a view of God that is really probably incorrect, matter of fact I know part of it is incorrect, because I have believed a lie of the enemy as to who God truly is. And that belief affects who I am in God. That belief affects my worship, my prayer, my lifestyle, everything. That belief my friends needs to change. That belief of religion and religious doctrine has go to go out the window. Seriously. Guys this question that Jesus asks isnt a question to be taken lightly. This is a question that wont be answered with a little you know bible study or prayer group, or cell group. You know this isnt something you can answer with a quick one liner. One of those perfect "Christian" answers. This is who we are. We were made to answer this question. Through the way we actively live our faith out loud. This question should be answered. Who do YOU REALLY believe God to be? Is he a happy God? Is he a rejoicing God? Is he a God of love and peace? Is his power unlimited? Is his WISDOM unlimited?Is his ways unlimited? Is his faithfulness unlimited? Is everything about him RIGHT? Seriously. I could scream this! Matter of fact consider this whole thing me screaming this. It bugs me that some people dont answer those questions with a yes. It should bug you too. If you know someone who isnt answering those questions with a yes then I ask... no I dont ask. Forget I said that. I am commanding you in this very minute to stop reading this and resume reading again when you pray for that person... Ask God to put a yes in thier hearts to those questions. Ask him to put a yes in your heart about those questions. Guys God is building his church upon this question of "WHO DO YOU SAY THAT I AM?". I'm serious. This is no joke. God told Peter that that is what he is building his church upon. This question affects our inner man. It affects our soul. It affects our Christian life. Our Christian worship. The way that we fast. The way that we give ourselves to Him. All of that is DIRECTLY related to what we really believe about God. And who we say that He is. If there are wrong views... then there will be a wrong pattern of living. I agree with Corey Russell when he said that this was the foundation for Matthew 7.. when Jesus said that we will build our faith on one of two foundations... either on Rock... or on sand. And if you have a yes to the questions above and you have a yes on your heart as to the purposes of God then you are building your foundation upon Rock. But if not... its being built on sand. And beloved... I'm not here to say that i'm perfect and i'm always building my house on Rock. Because I'm not. Because if I was I wouldnt be sinning every second of everyday. I'm just asking that you partner with me in the attempt to answer these questions with a true yes. We have got to give ourselves to the pursuit of the knowledge of God. WE have got to fill our minds with what he says about himself. What others say about him (in the bible) and who we are in Him as well as how much he loves us. This is the central issue. Guys there are so many aspects as the knowledge of God that I have yet to believe and because I have yet to believe I cannot step out into that life of faith. And its not that I have chosen not to accept them... its that I have believed the lie of the enemy as to who God really is. You have done it to. You know... I say I believe in a faithful God but what happens when it touches my pocket book? Or what happens when it talks about me stepping out in ways that I normally wouldnt? Its because I'm not convinced in the faithfulness of God and I have unbelief in my heart. Ask yourself those questions. Does your faith in God change when He asks you to give him money. And lemme stop here and say that God doesnt ever ever ever ever.. need your money. God paid for you already so why would he need your money? He owns the world. God needs your heart. And God puts things on your heart to test you. To see if you will trust Him. I can and could very well testify to that but im not going to get into that right now. I'll save that for the next blog. People have tried to say there are soooo many issues that are going on in the church and in this world!!!!!!!! Its lies!! There is only one issue that matters and thats the issue of the knowledge of God. That is the only battle we need to fight. Forget anything else. Forget these minor battles they are fake. Take up the issue of the knowledge of God and pursue it with all of your heart. I have only begun my pursuit of this issue and i've been after it for 10 months (the whole time i've been saved). If you take up that issue you will never be wrong and you will always be right. I'll be praying for everyone who reads this. I believe there is power in this and it'll change you if you just meditate on it. I love you all and I hope this has made a least some sense and I didnt just ramble.

I love you!!!

Noga

Prayer...

2007-08-07T06:36:00.001-07:00

So I'm feeling an inclination right now from God to jump into this mighty thing called prayer.
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Father I ask right now God that your presence would be felt not just around me but around the fellow people of this city. God I find myself inadequate to bring a lasting change in this failing world. And in these failings. God give us the strength for we are to weak to start. God we are nothing without you. God we are meaningless without you. God open hearts. Open them and let them receive a kiss from you. God kiss them with the kisses of your mouth. God i pray that the greatest unleashing of the Holy Spirit be manifested tonight in those that are hungry. God I am hungry. I dont feel it I dont know it. But God I admit that you are more real than what I feel. God you are more real. Father you spoke to me tenderly awhile ago and you said you wanted to bring people out of their Egypts. God do it. I believe it so do it. If for no one else God. Do it for me. God I pray that you would just unlock hearts God. Let me touch your heart tonight like that of Abraham. God I pray that you bring me into that intimate place and let me touch your heart like David. God I pray that you would meet me. God I ask that you would touch hearts tonight like Abraham touched yours. God your beautiful son is worth my time. God let your greatness be made in me something that would burst out of me. God let me share the wealth of the kingdom of God. Help me to understand what it means when you said "not even Solomon in all of his splendor was dressed like one of these". God dress me tonight. Dress me for the coming wedding. God I ask that right now even though I may be feeling a distance from you that this gap would be closed through the power of prayer. God meet me tonight. I pray that your Holy Spirit would just dwell over not just me but our city and our churches. God bring corporate healing tonight. God bring the many sights of signs and wonders and miracles. God I ask that you would bring us out of Ezekiel 37 and into Revelation 4. God let the cry of our hearts be Revelation 4. God I feel the power of you. God I know you are real. God manifest your presence upon people tonight. Let me taste of your presence tonight. God teach me to live out the second commandment. God humble my heart before you and teach me. Oh Almighty Counselor teach me. Teach me what it means to take up the cross. Teach me what it means. Teach me father. Let me be called a Son of God not just for my glory but for your glory God. God let me turn a miracle unto your kingdom tonight. How do I turn a miracle unto your kingdom tonight God?? reveal it to me in an intimate way. A way that you havent spoken to anyone else. God I pray for a massive unleashing tonight of signs and wonders and visions and dreams God that would just grip hearts and reveal something that is coming. Reveal a heavenly sound that has been stored up for ages. God make a melody in my heart to you. Let me sing a new song unto you tonight. Let me feel you. Let me know you. Take me deeper God. I dont want to feel like im just saying this and not meaning it God. For I have prayed this before. Tonight God just reveal yourself to me that would just grip me God. That would change who I forever am in YOU!!! Tonight God take hearts to that secret place and speak tenderly to them. God let the song that will end all songs be sung over our city God. Birth in us a new spirit. Birth in us a new rejuvenation. I thank you God for who you are. And what you did through me on Wednesday night. And I pray that what happened Wednesday was only the mere speck of a raindrop falling upon this city. God you have prophesied to me that I am only wet and I have yet to become drenched. God I ask that tonight you would drench not only me but yearning hearts in your love God. Tonight I pray LIFE into every unbelieving heart. God there is power in your Blood. there is power in your name. I believe it and I know it. For you have shown it to me. Let the covenant of LIFE that I took on 07.07.07 be made real not only to me God but to hearts that desire for the ending of abortion and the beginning of revival to break out. God let this be a great work in your name. God I pray that this is a kiss from you. God let your kiss to our nation be the LIFE covenant. I love you Jesus. And I pray that Psalm 27:4 would ring in every heart over the next couple of days God. Let your beauty come. Have your hand upon this city tonight God. Thank you God. Teach me to fear you God. For I dont want to blasphemy your name. Thank you. I love you. You are worth every step. Even through the highs and the lows. God let your intimate fatherly love touch hearts tonight God. Call this city of Fort Wayne a mighty city of children that are willing and desiring to serve you. Let the power of your promise from long ago be unleashed in Jesus name!!!! In your mighty sons name I pray

Amen

I love you God!!! You have my heart forever and ever

Your Son,

Noga

Just storing these websites.... and videos.

2007-07-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall01.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall02.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall03.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall04.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall05.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall06.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall07.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall08.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall09.asx

http://www.god.tv/Media/TheCall/TheCall10.asx

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Prayer Chapel on Sunday night... extremely intense

2007-07-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

Current mood: anxious
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Sunday night in the prayer chapel from 7 to 9 was intense. I wish you could have been there. It was just amazing. Like we got to Brandons house at 5:45 and found out he wasnt home. Then Bryan ,Stepen and me tryed to get our own cell group going and we would just meet somewhere else. It turns out God had a plan for the 3 of us because we couldnt get anyone together. (Yes we had a lot of 3's happen last night and I'll try and incorporate all of them to you). So we drove around the city asking God to take us where he wanted us to go. Our goal was to hopefully find the citywide church meeting but if God didnt want us to go there then it was ok. It turns out he didnt. Anyway we drove around the city for quite some time and eventually God spoke to Bryan telling him that we needed to go to the Snider parking lot and pray for the school. So we did. And It just really felt like we were breaking down some strongholds. So after that it was like 6:20. And we still were asking God to take us where he wanted us to go. Then God spoke to him again for a second time, shortly after we drive not literallly around the church but around the church street wise for what is the first time, and God told Bryan we needed to go to Piere's to pray for that place. So we end up in the parking lot and we prayed and broke some strongholds. I prayed for the divorcing of the spirit of Bel. Anyway after that we felt like we had no purpose but we all three were having that feeling like God is going to do something huge. So we were back to driving around the city and I think its around 6:35 to 6:40. This is like the 2nd time listening to the sound the alarm CD and we were currently making our second drive around the church. I mean we went through addtions and all that jazz because we felt like God was taking us there. And all of a sudden I got this feeling like God spoke to me and told me we needed to go to the prayer chapel. I didnt say anything because I wasnt sure. But it turns out that Stephen had that same feeling and so did Bryan. Because shortly after I had that feeling God spoke to Bryan a 3rd and final time and Bryan literally shouted "Oh!!!!!" He was like we need to go to the prayer chapel. And I know just why. And I said that I had the same feeling. And Stephen said he did too. So we literally B lined our way to the church and headed instantly into the prayer chapel at around 7:03. This was our third time around the church, just fyi. So we walk into the prayer chapel and I instantly smelled the presence of Jesus. Yes, smelled. And I felt his presence. It was intense. And Bryan says... "grab the drums". Bryan told me that God spoke to him and said the he needed a drum for the battle cry, I needed the drum for the "warning call" and Stephen needed a drum for I think the releasing" or something. I dont know. But when Bryan said i needed a drum for the warning call I just about dropped right there. So I grabbed a drum. Literally for about the first 15 minutes we sucked. We couldnt find a rhythm that everyone could match to. It was just 3 people beating drums and praying and singing to God. Then after I started to really get into this I stopped praying and started prophesying. I dont remember what I said but i do remember vague parts. And I remember Stephen like screaming and Bryan screaming and he prophesied for awhile. And finally we literally we beating out the rhythm of heaven. I prayed I was like God let us get in tune with the heartbeat of heaven. And we were literally all 3 on the same accord and we harmonized and it was awesome. Then after about 40 minutes of that. Stephen literally left the prayer chapel like crying and he didnt come back for awhile. And i walked out for a second just praying. And I swear we freaked the cleaning lady out. I dont think she'll ever come back. Like you should have seen her face. She knew it was God or something. And I come back in shortly after praying and we played the Sound the Alarm CD for the 3rd time. And I literally dropped to the floor very weak and I had visions. It was massive. After that I felt inclined to invite you into what was going on. And it was just intense. I wish you could have been there. I didnt want anyone to miss out on what was going on. I wanted to share this. I just cant believe that. It was just intense. I loved it and I wish that more people could have experienced it. I think we should have a cell group at the prayer chapel one night and just cut loose in worship like that. It was soooooo satisfying. It was peaceful. And I hope it wasnt just for the three of us in that room. Because I prayed for it to reach the city. So ya. I'll let you go before I end up writing you a book. Haha.

(That was an email I have sent to someone. But I really do think we should get some people together and go to the prayer chapel sometime. Its intensely ridiculous) Haha my two latest and greatest words.

Anyway lemme know what you think

Peaches and Pineapples

and...

For His Eternal Glory as an Intimate

and...

Later yo... (lol)

Noga

2007-07-19T23:15:00.001-07:00

Current mood: hyper
Category: Religion and Philosophy

It has come to my attention that I officially cannot talk to Josh Miller online without having something powerful happen to me. It has yet to fail me that everytime we have talked... something has spawned. Now I'm not talking about how the world began... or even humans evolving from monkeys here. I'm talking about Immanuel's Intimates.

The idea started when God consumed us both. We originally were talking about a msg that Josh had delivered to his church. And he had someone snicker at the verse that God gave me to give to Josh. Anyway we ended up coming up with this creative quote... which my friend if you havent read it. Go outside this blog and read it. It is powerful. Then it didnt stop there. We wanted to be unique.. and start a sort of cabal... if you will. Which by the way.... I learned that word as I was talking to Josh. basically its like a clique so to speak. And we wanted to see how many people would notice our quote and our name. So, we brainstormed up a name. Hence, Immanuel's Intimates... now it didnt come easy. It was with much collaboration. We thought this over. And we got to talking. And we both realized how amazingly sweet the name just flowed. Then we started thinking..... whoa. I started screaming. Literally screaming. Josh was excited, and shaking. I was shaking and excited. And we got to talking about how our names would flow perfect with this. Dr. Joshua Bryan co-founder of Immanuel's Intimates © worship center. Outreaching the nation. and Reverend Noga (haha) or Dr. Eric Michael co-founder of Immanuel's Intimates House of Prayer ©. oh geez. Im just sooo excited. Dont even get me started. I could just flow all night about this. But I want to stick with something real here.

To me Immanuel's Intimates is just simply genius. It really means more to me than words can describe. Especially since for the past week I have non-stop heard the word intimacy in some context with God. Lots of stories that I dont want to get into right now. So ya. Obviously being intimate with someone, anyone for that matter is very serious. Its not something you do with everyone. That's WHY it's intimate. And I believe in this day in age God is calling upon this, yes THIS generation to pursue the intimacy of God now more than ever. And it needs to be pursued with a zeal that is just all out exhaustion to reach it. Guys, I am sick and tired of hearing about the prophesy of God is going to do this, and God will do that. NO! It's not going to happen! Why?? Because people these days are taking God's love and God's heart and taking it for something it isnt. Beloved I want to see action. I want to see God do something. And if it has been prophesied that this generation is the generation to complete God's will then I want action to pursue the will of God in that intimate place with God now more than ever. I want to see revival break out and people get saved. I want to see the lost found and the blind seeing. And that will only happen when we stop thinking about pursuing God and we start acting in pursuit of the love of God. And that is the focus of Immanuel's Intimates. Pursuing the love of God with a zeal to be in that intimate place. And sharing the wealth of the kingdom of God. Obviously we dont want just anyone who is going to be fake about this so we are going to spread the word but not allow anyone to join up and follow through with anything until we can get real serious about this and actually do something big. Our end goal is for God to use this as an outreach to the world as well as massive 24/7 house of prayer. im talking day and night revival prayer with true intimate intercession. And to really set the tone and show the love of Christ, Immanuel's Intimates, is going to focus on Song of Solomon 8:6. Our main point is going to be "...for love is as strong as death...". That is our slogan. This is a serious on fire group with a real passion for nothing more than to fight for and bring glory to the kingdom of God. And I believe whole heartedly that Josh and I were meant for this. Like it... just something about it. We both felt that feeling like wow... this is God. I know it b/c we talked about it. We had the exact feelings. Guys I am serious. We have talked it over and are going to have a meeting August 11th... (tentative of course b/c he has to see whether or not he is working) but that is the plan. We are going to spend an entire weekend just planning this out. We are going to have t shirts but just for me and him to start out. Like I said we have to get a market base. And we have to just focus on God. I have a feeling this is going to be massive. Eventually we will get this headed in the right direction once school is out of the way and I just pray that God would just explode through this. I know that this is something I want to pursue. I hope that this has excited some people. But I dont want this to be another lets go to Immanuel's Intimate House of Prayer shed some tears, and go be fake with what we just experienced. I am talking when you walk in that place you better not walk out and be fake about this. Or you are not welcome. We have open doors and all are welcome but dont come in faking and trying to impress someone. Guys God looks at the heart. And God wants us to pursue the things that are on His heart. God doesnt want you to impress people and be fake around Him. And that is another thing we are going to focus on. Teaching others to experience the love. Because there is going to be a wedding. Just like Misty Edwards sings. And we need to prepare the way. And I have a vision that Immanuel's Intimates will prepare the way of the risen Lord! I want the people to be the people like in Acts 13 where the apostles walked into town preaching the gospel of Jesus and the people feared them. The people shuddered. The people went "Oh, God these people are changing the nation!". I want and desire for the people, pastors, whatever to be feared because of God. I want the people of today's society going "Oh, God these people are turning the nation upside down!". And Corey Russell said it perfect when he said "We would be hard pressed to find 10 people in this world that when they walked into a city people would say 'Oh, God these people are turning a nation upside down!'". And he followed up with the statement "yet, everyone has apostle on their business card, everyone wants to be an apostle". Beloved I dont care whether the people of Immanuel's Intimates are apostles. I just want a nation to fear God because we are changing a nation. And that is our desire and focus. The business part will come, God willing. That part is purely hypothetical. I dont want Immanuel's Intimates to become some Victoria's Secret clothing company. Immanuel's Intimates isnt some holy lengerie!!!! I want people to come and get intimate with God. And with that the idea for this thing is born.

For His eternal glory as an Intimate,

Noga

P.S. To actually fully capture the message that is being slammed home through Immanuel's Intimates is to read my co-founder's blog. Together his message and my message really capture the vision of this place. So I advise that you read his blog! Plus he's got a unique style that I like. haha Anyway ya. read it!!!!! To make things faster try this link.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=194569260

A Divine yet explosive Revelation of God.... (another one) yes (another one)

2007-07-18T23:03:00.002-07:00

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Divine yet explosive Revelation of God.... (another one) yes (another one)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Okay so I got a phone call last night at 11 pm. A phone call that kind of ticked me off but its ok. Although I didnt mind the fact that she was checking up on me. Anyway the reason it's ok is that tomorrow when she calls I am going to have enough character and class to take care of the problem myself. Beyond that the phone call was irrelevant.

So I go back to getting on my computer and doing my own thing when BAM!!!! I get a divine revelation from God. All of a sudden I am listening to something from IHOP and immediately out of nowhere (in my house alone--praise God for that :] ) I start screaming "WE NEED REVIVAL" over and over and over. and coincidentally the word I am listening to from IHOP is "WE NEED REVIVAL". Anyway it gets better. Im screaming we need revival. That is all I can say. And God tells me to notify Josh Hawkins about this revival. So I do. And in this notification God is speaking to me to tell him that We [Me and Josh] need to fast for 7 days. Ironically enough we were just talking about this on Wednesday night after service. Anyway I inform Josh that we need to fast for 7 days and I get done doing my thing. So I am roaming through my house getting something to eat. Let me stop here.

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If you want to learn something about God here we go. Everytime I have an encounter with God I am always always always hungry afterward. Everytime. I dont know what it is but I am just always craving food after God gets done with me. Something about it is mysterious. Anyway that is my little tid bit. So if you ever have an encounter with God and wonder why you are hungry afterward. God is the reason why.
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Okay so I get something to eat and I'm sitting there thinking. God if that was really you calling me into a fast show me some proof. And God broke in. Okay Eric you want proof. Go look out of a window and look at the downpouring of rain. That is proof enough. So I sat back down at my computer and I started thinking. God what does that mean? How does rain prove that I am supposed to fast. Then BAM!!!! Revelation from God broke upon me. Wednesday night after service Josh and I were talking about what God is doing in my life and such and I told him that God called me to a 3 day fast to get intimate with God and he would reveal to me the information necessary to preach the message on the 1st of August. So I obeyed God and fasted. I had massive. I mean massive. Encounters with God those 3 days that I dont want to get into right now. Anyway Josh and I were talking how cool it would be to last 7 days while fasting. And we were also talking about rain and other things. When BAM!!!! God again. He rang my internal doorbell and barged in. God was like You guys were talking about how cool it would be so I am using your talk to prove that I am real and this is real. So long story short. God is calling me into a 7 day fast and I'm excited. So ya.

Thats all I got

Peaches and Pineapples and smilies too

Your brother in Christ

Noga

God proving to me Confirmation Wednesday

2007-07-18T23:03:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

God proving to me Confirmation Wednesday.
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Religion and Philosophy

This is an internet conversation that I had with Josh Miller just hours after Josh Hawkins prayed what he thought God was speaking to him about me. And it was about intercession and intimacy and just what God is going to do through me. Anyway read this then I will talk a little at the end. But dont read this first without reading confirmation wednesday.

*Sir_royalty08-----Josh

*E_hussles-------Me

[this is awhile after we had been talking this is just the prayer part where God really broke in]

12:55:54 AM sir_royalty08: You are the only one that knows... I don't know why, but I just feel like you are the one to ask for prayer...

12:56:12 AM e_hussles: ok

12:56:22 AM e_hussles: dont think that just b/c i prayed for you online it will stip

12:56:26 AM e_hussles: *stop

12:56:30 AM sir_royalty08: I know

12:56:39 AM sir_royalty08: trust me...... *I know*

12:56:42 AM e_hussles: I feel God in this moment telling me to continue

12:56:47 AM sir_royalty08: then go for it

12:59:11 AM e_hussles: Lord Jesus. release this man of all fears. release. i pray for a spirit of freedom to be proclaimed over this man. I pray that you would just use his testimony to bring glory unto your kingdom. God just let this man continue to bring glory unto you like he was created to do. God just send your riches to this man. send your riches and your freedom

12:59:40 AM e_hussles: God send your rain of mercy and grace. Let it just consume him like a burning fire

01:00:48 AM e_hussles: consuming passion for you Lord that would just carry on. Passion and freedom that would just weather the storm. God that you would just move in this mans life like he has never felt before. God that you would just touch this man with the breath of God and you would just consume him. God let him dwell in your presence for eternity

01:01:35 AM e_hussles: God open your flood gates of heaven and just send an outpouring of your Holy Spirit that he has yet to feel or know. God take him past all understanding. Take him past his flesh

01:02:04 AM e_hussles: take him past where he is comfortable with you and let him get to know you more than he can ever want to know with his flesh

01:03:05 AM e_hussles: God I ask right now that you send an army of angels. An army so great that he would never have to feel like he is not free in your name. God an army so big and rain so great that he would just be soaked in your presence

01:03:08 AM sir_royalty08: dude.. I prayed almost this same prayer not two nights ago...

01:03:26 AM e_hussles: yes jesus

01:03:29 AM e_hussles: thank you jesus

01:03:42 AM e_hussles: we love you jesus

01:03:53 AM sir_royalty08: amen

01:04:08 AM e_hussles: god cleanse him

01:04:28 AM e_hussles: cleanse him with your majesty. cleanse him from the enemy. wash him clean oh God.

01:04:38 AM e_hussles: wash him white as snow

01:04:41 AM e_hussles: right now

01:04:50 AM e_hussles: right now

01:04:56 AM e_hussles: yes

01:05:31 AM e_hussles: oh God I just ask that you would just bring a sweet revelation god. God use this time right now to just mentor to him God

01:05:50 AM e_hussles: just teach him about you. Just tell him how much you love him

01:06:40 AM e_hussles: God I ask that you would pour out something so great. something so great that it has never been released from the heavens before. God something that you have been waiting to pour out on this man since he was born

01:06:52 AM e_hussles: God since time began

01:07:03 AM e_hussles: pour out

01:07:14 AM e_hussles: pour out intimacy God

01:07:25 AM e_hussles: pour out intimacy God

01:07:37 AM e_hussles: God love.

01:07:38 AM e_hussles: send it

01:07:46 AM e_hussles: freedom send it

01:07:55 AM e_hussles: a spirit of knowledge and discernment

01:08:09 AM e_hussles: a spirit of just forgiveness and grace

01:08:27 AM e_hussles: bring a great awakening to this man oh God

01:08:50 AM e_hussles: Bring something greater than words can describe something that is just beyond all human knowledge

01:08:59 AM e_hussles: let this be a gift from the sacred heavens

01:09:22 AM e_hussles: let this be something sweet to the taste

01:09:41 AM e_hussles: God I pray Ezekiel Chapter 3 over this man right now

01:10:02 AM e_hussles: lord jesus.

01:10:02 AM sir_royalty08: That has popped in my head a lot.. I'm gonna read this now. I'll be on later

01:10:06 AM sir_royalty08: thank you

01:10:09 AM e_hussles: yes

01:10:11 AM e_hussles: your welcome

01:10:12 AM sir_royalty08: you have helped

01:10:16 AM sir_royalty08: a lot!

01:10:20 AM e_hussles: your welcome

01:10:24 AM e_hussles: glad to be here for you

01:10:29 AM sir_royalty08: bye

01:10:33 AM sir_royalty08: God bless

01:10:35 AM e_hussles: bye

01:10:38 AM e_hussles: yes God bless
----------------------

And that was then end of our conversation. I dont know if you caught in there where Josh had said he had prayed that prayer two nights ago.... but that just broke me down. That was truly a God moment beyond describable. God using me to utter back to him a prayer that he prayed earlier. But all the while I was praying this prayer for him b/c I felt the need to. And i kept feeling this burning sensation just about to completely burn a hole in me. Then i realized that Josh had prayed over me and "marked me" and wherever he "marked me" i was burning. And he marked me with a spirit of intercession. I dont want to get into it any deeper right now b/c I want to stay humble before God but I do want to say that I am very grateful that God used me in this moment to intercede for a fellow brother in need. And friends... if this touches any one of your hearts... it is my prayer that this can be for you as well. I dont want this to be a one on one experience I want to share the wealth of God.

And now I need to go to bed. its 2:04 am. And I'm in love with Jesus.

Any amens?

Peaches and Pineapples,

Noga

Confirmation Wednesday...

2007-07-18T23:02:00.002-07:00

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Confirmation Wednesday...
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I dont have much to say here other than to explain something really quick. You know that dream I told you about in my blog "The Call finally revealed". Anyway I was talking with Josh Hawkins about my whole experience and he was like duuuuuude. and he told me his story how God had fire for him in Nashville. It turns out that one of the prophetic people he sat saw a red cloud. Anyway I dont know much about that but what I do know is that after everyone was leaving the stadium a man came on the mic and was talking about God releasing "massive change" b/c I dont know what Josh had called it. Anyway it was the releasing of God's worship angels that he has held up there for a millenium and the angel that I prayed for in my dream was the angel that was sent to Josh. So I got really excited about that. If you want to know more go to my blog that i mentioned above.

Anyway something else amazing happened tonight as well. God has confirmed that I am going to be preaching that message in two weeks from that vision that I saw. And God also gave Josh a word that was spoken and prayed over me tonight that literally almost made him cry. and I almost broke down into tears. Anyway I dont want to elaborate on it right now other than it is on intercession and intimacy. And Im just really excited. I dont know what else to say. I'm really giddy right now and for me as a guy to say that is kind of awkward. I'm in love with Jesus. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. But I really am. God if you read internet blogs.... I love you. More than words can describe. In Jesus name. Amen

Guys I love you all as a brother in christ.

Peaches and Pineapples (with one n) haha Victoria

Noga

The Call is finally revealed.

2007-07-18T23:02:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Call is finally revealed.
Current mood: artistic
Category: Religion and Philosophy

By far one of the most life changing events that I have ever been to: The Call. I have quite the testimony to what happened to me over the past 4 days (Thursday through Sunday). This is rather long... I'm just going to warn you now.

Ahem. Well. Where to begin? Aha, originally I didn't think I was going to be able to go to The Call. But it was about 4 days before and I was talking to Josh Hawkins and he was telling me that Casey's trip was completely full and I was on a pretty long waiting list. So he told me to call Ben Bouwers whom he said would be the man to talk to. Little did I know, he was right. I called up Ben and told him my story about how God called me to go and I need a way to go. Ben was like let me give you a call back. Ben called back and was like I have a man who can take you but it is going to be quite the journey. At this point I was up for anything. Ben hooked me up with Matt Spinx whom I didn't know at the time. Matt said I can take you and I was like Praise Jesus. He said we would be leaving on Thursday instead of Friday and I said that was fine with me. And we would be camping Thursday staying at a commune Friday and we were uncertain where we would be staying Saturday. (I told you this was a journey).

[Then you can go ahead and insert the blog about the ramblings of the Binkerd household here just to continue with chronological events and help people keep things in order]

So Thursday comes and I head out to the place where Matt and I were supposed to meet. It was about 7 am and I tell my dad that I am going to be going to sleep in the conference room b/c Matt wasn't coming until 12:00. So I go to sleep and my dad wakes me up at 8:20 and tells me that Matt called and I am supposed to call him back. I call him up and he says that he can't take me. Just messing. He says that we have a change in plans we are going to be leaving at 10:30 instead of 12:00. So I'm like okay then I go back in the conference room to go back to sleep. As I go back to sleep I have a dream. A completely unexpected dream.

All I remember is very vague but what I do remember will blow your mind. Basically I was in a place where I had no clue where I was at. I just remember seeing Josh Hawkins and Caleb and a few other people sitting in a circle and Josh was leading them in something. (The people looked like the people who were going to be going to the call). And I remember hearing Josh arguing with someone about something. I mean Josh was all out like yelling and pointing his finger. Then I feel the presence of someone come up to me and put their hand on my shoulder and ask me to go outside. So I go. And this older guy starts talking to me and he is like "that man [being Josh] is such a man of God, I knew it from day one" then he starts talking to me about some other stuff then all of a sudden he is speaking to me in tongues. I can't understand it. Then I remember seeing Josh walking outside of the place where we were at wearing a RED shirt [significance will be made known later in the Saturday story] and he was walking around the place praying and the people that were in his circle were right behind him praying along with him. Then I remember looking at this man and I start to pray for him. Why? I don't really know. Then I remember feeling like I could jump to the moon and the man fell over. I was praying something then I remember saying "I bind the spirit of the anti-chri……st" And God spoke to me saying "WAKE UP AND PRAY FOR REVIVAL". I remember waking up right after that like really hot and sweating in an air-conditioned room. Really scared at what I just heard and only having like 10 minutes before Matt was going to show up I went outside and started praying for revival.

Afterward I see Matt show up and I am still feeling the effects of what just happened. So I have about a 7.5 hour car ride down to Nashville. All the while I am just thinking about what happened and just about God and how amazing he is. Anyway about 2 hours in the car and I felt God just consume me and I had a vision. In this vision God revealed to me that who I was praying for in my dream was an angel. I don't understand the significance in that but I know God does. So the vision was really striking to me. I remember seeing myself when I am a little older and I'm in a house with whom I presume is my wife and I remember God showing me these people walking up to my house. I heard God speak and tell me that these people are coming from an important event (either The Call or some national conference I couldn't make that out) and they are in need of food and a home and YOU ERIC are going to give them that. And you are not going to know this at the time but these are going to be angels in your house. The rest of that vision is God revealing to me that exactly two weeks later God showed me preaching a message and He said that I was going to bring that up and use that example and pretty much because of that many people are going to get saved. After this vision I was just awestruck with God. All of this had happened on Thursday. Not Saturday. Thursday night right before we were going to head back to the campground I remember getting this feeling that I NEEDED to buy a bible. I'm like Ok God so I tell my group that I wanted to buy a bible. And I end up meeting this man with one arm at Wal-Mart who is going to The Call. He was pretty cool and I'm sure he was quite lonely b/c he wouldn't stop following me around and he was commenting on my search for a bible. And I just want to stop here and say that I absolutely don't support Wal-Mart in any sense of the word. I hate Wal-Mart and quite frankly if there was any other store in the area that I was in other than Wal-Mart I would have gone there. I don't like the idea that Wal-Mart supports Gay Marriage and other such things. Therefore I avoid Wal-Mart at all available costs (Wal-Mart to me is like buying from the enemy), but God had a plan for me to meet the man and that was awesome. I hoped to see him again on Saturday but that never happened. So after that we headed back to our campground in Lebanon. Remember that name, Lebanon.

So the Spirit of the Lord woke me up the next morning really early. I remember it being quite awhile before others got up. I took a shower and came back. Still silent. I grabbed my new bible and felt God wanting me to pray. So I go where no one can see me and I just ask God. "Let me bring glory to your kingdom today God, and God give me a word, something prophetic God that will just let me understand how I am to bring glory to you and just help fight for your kingdom." I felt God speaking to me saying read Isaiah 60:13, read Isaiah 60:13. I kept praying b/c I wasn't sure if that was God or myself making that up. Continually I hear read Isaiah 60:13, read Isaiah 60:13. So I'm like ok God I don't know if this is you but I am going to read Isaiah 60. I started reading about the glory of Zion and I get to verse 13. It says "The glory of Lebanon will come to you,
the pine, the fir and the cypress together,
to adorn the place of my sanctuary;
and I will glorify the place of my feet."

Did you remember that name? I am in the city of Lebanon mind you when this happened. That shook me to no end. I got excited. This was the beginning of the outpouring that was coming on Saturday.

The rest of Friday I gave me testimony of how I came to know the Lord to my group. I also got to stay In a Christian commune outside of Memphis. I met a lot of really neat people there and they all really badly want me to come back. They didn't want me to leave. I don't know about the rest of my group but within two hours they all had my phone number and my email address b/c they wanted to be sure I would at least stay in contact with them. I am probably going back down there around Sept. 29^th but that is another story. Basically the Christian commune was a group of 70 families living together on 100 acres called rose creek village. Go to www.rosecreekvillage.com if you want to check out more. It truly is an idealistic place to live and worship God with about 300 people, daily. And their numbers are growing exponentially. Anyway I will put up some pictures of their village and of the Call here in a couple of days when I get them prepared. So that was Friday.

Now for Saturday. Saturday we get into Nashville around 10:00 it takes us an hour to park b/c there are soooooooo many people. And I remember driving by the stadium and I just felt the presence of the Lord consume me. I don't know about the rest of my group. And we get parked and walk into the stadium. I enter into the stadium and the first thing I feel is the feeling of myself about to collapse b/c of the Lord just overwhelming the place. We get in the place to find out our seats are taken and we have to go to the very top of the stadium. God was telling me that that isn't where he wants me. I am like guys God wants me to be somewhere right now and I can't stick with the group. They all said that's fine just meet us up here at about 10:00pm after it's over. That is the last I saw them all day. I head back down and I'm like I want onto the field. By the grace of God I start heading to the field like I'm going to get on it and I see security guards. Getting nervous I almost turn around but luckily someone in front of me has a wristband on and they only check hers. I make it onto the field and get about 10 feet away from Lou Engle and the worship bands. Misty Edwards, Michael W. Smith, you know…. The really good bands. I'm down there hanging out with them. And their interns and Lou Engles family and just a lot of like high priority people. And I'm worshipping the Lord. For about the first two hours I was really pressing through worship b/c of fasting and such. But finally the Lord consumed me and gave me a vision. The vision was of me preaching a message back at First Assembly. I am not going to say what it is about b/c I want you all to be prepared in about 3 weeks. But God showed me that a lot of people are going to get saved that night and I am just excited for it. After that vision I really was in the place of intimate worship and I was just praying for God to just continue to show me the glory of Lebanon and let me bring glory unto his kingdom. During this time Lou was talking about the divorcing of the spirit of Baal and renewing our covenant with Jesus (marrying him). At this time God spoke to me and said I want you to read the 7^th book in the New Testament and in the book the 7^th chapter and in that chapter the 7^th verse. (7/7/7). It turns out to be 1Cor. 7:7. It says "I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." And this is in the chapter where Paul is talking about marriage and I just got excited. Shortly after (2 or 3 hours) that many people gave their testimonies about the summer of love and sexual immorality and witchcraft and other things like that. And I remember praying that God would break my heart for the things that break his heart and I was in that intimate place of worship when God broke my heart. People were giving their testimonies about abortion. And I was worshiping. All of a sudden I started uncontrollably weeping. For about 30 minutes I was crying. Then God said you want to know what? You were just interceding for all those people who have had an abortion, thinking about having an abortion, those people who were adopted b/c of an abortion, and those people who have committed sexual immorality. And that was just amazing. But shortly after that God said I want you to read the 6^th book in the New Testament and the 6^th chapter and the 6^th verse. (6/6/6). And I got nervous. I mean who wouldn't. But I read the verse and this is what it says. Romans Chapter 6: 6"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,^[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin—". And that was just a sigh of relief. That meant that because of my intercession and Jesus dying on the cross these people are no longer slaves to sin.

The rest of the day I am just going to tell you in a jumble b/c this is getting exceedingly long. I remember worshipping when Lou comes out and says we are about to have a wedding. And literally three grooms come walking down the center aisle of the field. And Lou is like, you must be thinking now how ridiculous is this? Then he says. So what? Why not? Then he has the brides come down the center aisle with their fathers and they seriously got married. I remember pastors coming down and actually marrying them. While everyone in the stadium was singing Song of Solomon. I got lots of pics of this… you'll have to check them out.

Later on towards the night I remember another intimate moment of weeping intercession and it was for all the people that aren't saved, have rededicated their lives, and many other things. It was amazing mainly b/c it was completely unexpected and God was just telling me why I was weeping. It almost made me cry again b/c I had just been having him speak to me time after time after time in such a short span of 4 days. I'm surprised my face wasn't glowing like that of Moses. It probably was.

Towards the end of the night after Lou had read aloud the Horton Hear's a Hoo book by Dr. Seuss. I believe another vision came over me. It was shortly after we [the whole stadium] put LIFE tape over their mouths and prayed for 10 minutes in silence for the ending of abortion and bringing revival to America. God showed me a picture of the White House and I was standing there really close for safety standards. And it was another Call. Everyone was there praying for the ending of abortion and the 2008 election. At the time I didn't know that Lou would be hosting a call on 08/08/08 that would be for that very reason. I found that out towards the end of the night. Lou said he was praying it into existence. So I am excited that I am going to be at The Call next year in DC. I invite everyone to start praying about it right this very moment.

Nothing much more happened after that vision just much more intimate worship. And God speaking to my heart about my message back at First Assembly in 3 weeks. The blowing of 303 horns and everyone screaming and rattling of car keys towards the end during a worship song was absolutely amazing. I'm sure it shook the city outside. I have lots of pics of that too. You'll have to check them out.

This is really jumbled and I don't even know if I included everything. But it was amazing. Oh shoot I just remembered that I have to tell you the significance of Josh wearing that RED shirt during my dream. Basically it is that the LIFE tape that was over the peoples mouth was red and the band that I have on as a covenant that I took during the time is red and has the words LIFE on it. The covenant is that every time I see a red band on someone's arm I am going to be praying for the ending of abortion and for God to send revival to America. It doesn't matter how many times a day that I see it. I invite you to join me in that whether you have a red LIFE band or not.

And pretty much I'm sure that this concludes my experience at The Call. I know there are some details that have been left out and if you want to know them… you'll have to listen to me tell the story to someone. I always include a lot more when I'm speaking. Its just that my hands are starting to hurt after all of this typing. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to my testimony. I really hope that you enjoyed it. And I pray that you take something meaningful from it. I pray also that you may in your days to come experience something greater with God than I have just described here. In the name of jesus. Amen.

Your brother in Christ,

Peaches and Pineapples,

Noga

Ramblings about the many things that go on in the Binkerd household.

2007-07-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

Current mood: refreshed
Category: News and Politics

Okay.... wow. AhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. its only 2 days away....... The Call!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry about that.

anyway. So I got this call from Victoria. She was calling to tell me that I am going to have to miss out. And I was like what? miss what? Then it hit me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! we are not hanging out tomorrow. She was like "ya um the people that we are having come cant come wed. they can come thursday." and I just wanted to flip and hit her. But I was like ok not fair. But then she was like you should be happy that you get to go to the Call and we just get to go swimming. And I thought ya true... but God can still do amazing things. HE doesnt have to meet you at LP field to do amazing things. And let me just take time out to say that I am not going to LP field b/c I think it is amazing. I am going b/c God called me to. I am not going to listen to a speaker I am going for God. Forget the speaker. Yes, Forget the speaker. Forget the worship band. Forget it. I am going for God. And I'm excited.

So ya, technically that should have been the end of the phone call we should have said our goodbyes and hung up. Hah. That wasnt God's plan.

We kept on talking and I was describing how my parents just leave me.... and how we have no.... yes NO food in our house. She felt bad for me. Then she taught me how to make a Victoria special sandwhich. of which I am very proud that she did b/c without it I would still be sitting here starving. But there was something going on in the background while we were talking. Something that you need to know about.

At Victoria's house apparently there is this guy from our church that is very annoying and he supposedly called and Celeste answered the phone. Celeste was talking to him and Victoria and I were talking. All of a sudden Victoria tells me to hold on and she gives the phone to Celeste. I start talking to Celeste and I was doing my special thing of making fun of her and stuff. And it was all good. It was brotherly love so to speak. And she did her share of making fun back. Then as soon as I hear Victoria in the background coming to get the phone back Celeste starts screaming..........................................................................
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And yes. Victoria has an old fashioned desire to kick the crap out of Celeste. They start ninja fighting. and Victoria goes all kung fu on her and all I hear is screaming, kicking, punching, a little laughing, blood squirting, and more kicking.

Keep in mind all the while I am on the phone listening to this. Only for about 3 minutes then I hear a click. I immediately know that it is the phone hanging up from their end. But still I persist on talking to myself and pretending that someone is listening to me.

Eventually I hang up the phone slam it down and tell [them] mainly myself--- never to call back. And they call me back 20 seconds later.

I let the phone ring 3,4, maybe 5 times thinking should I pick up? I do. Reluctantly I do. just kidding. Anyway we start talking again and Victoria tells me that she has an old fashioned plunger in her hand and she is beating Celeste with it while talking to me, making a pot pie, cleaning the dishes, making plans for thursday, and calling Blair on a second phone all at the same time. Also, remember that she still is teaching me to make a Victoria special sandwhich. So we get to talking about the sandwhich and I still hear them fighting and laughing and it is just a good ole time for me b/c i am just laughing it up. We get through with the sandwhich then we start talking about movies and other things.... and then Victoria decides to tell me that she is going to start singing. I'm like ok. thats great. So she just adds one more thing to the multitasking list that she is doing and amazingly enough it was some pretty good singing. Except for the part where Celeste joined in. :]. I made fun of her. And we just kept chatting away. Then Victoria started busting out some pretty tight dance moves [we need a prayer group for her] although I really dont know how tight they were b/c remember we were on the phone. But she always tells me to trust her and it never seems to fail.

But ya. That is pretty much all i remember as of right now. I just thought i would let everyone else on planet earth know what goes on when I talk to people on the phone. Actually Victoria wanted me to write about it. So I did. and Hah. here it is. you got suckered in.

Oh and I feel the need to tell everyone that we officially had "illegal small groups this past sunday". haha. And on top of that Josh Hawkins spoke in sunday school about Eat the Scroll. And how God has just been bringing that about in our lives. constantly. He was talking specifically to me but it was awesome. Anyway he said he had a cd he wanted me to listen to from the IHOP in KC. I got to small groups that night. We talked about the sovereignty of God and many other rabbit trails that I dont want to go into. Sex, and other things. Anyway Josh had decided he didnt want to play that CD. because he just didnt want to. But the Spirit of the Lord came over him. We played it. And guys I got messed up. Eat the Scroll was just uhhhhhh! awesome! I'm excited for the Call. Sound the Alarm was the name of the CD that we listened to. And I forced Brandon Hall to get me a copy of it. I got that and some other things on a CD. And I am going to listen to it and get even more messed up. But here is the thing. Before cell groups started that sunday night. Something amazing happened to me and Bryan Gibson. We were sitting on Brandon Hall's couch and just messing around with our Bibles and the fan. I had jokingly said... if the pages dont flip after two times of the fan going around then that is the page that God wants you to be on. I didnt think they would ever stop turning until it got to Genesis 1. But they stopped. And do you want to know what it stopped on? Eat the Scroll. Ezekiel chapter 3. If you dont believe me read it. God wasnt joking in that moment. There is no way that Eat the Scroll would appear so many times in my life and Josh's life and Casey Cormany's life and a couple other people's lives if God wasnt up to something. I just thought I should let you know that. I'm excited for the Call and what it has to offer. And I hope you enjoyed my ramblings about the Binkerd house.

Peach out.

dont forget, its the new thing.

2007-07-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Early morning ponderings
Current mood: ecstatic

Guys.... I dont know how to make this more real to you now more than ever. I have been speaking of this before. But I dont think people have been taking me seriously. I honestly dont think you understand what is going on. God is on the move. And I tell you that as surely as the sun rises 07/07/07 is approaching. And as it approaches something within me just cringes. God is up to something. Why else would I be up at 1:51 am writing this? why? I am not stupid. And quite frankly I dont enjoy staying up. I dont make this up. I tell you by the power you have in you. Pray. Pray that you dont miss out on what God is doing. Because missing out on this is going to be huuuuuuge. and I mean huge. I have never heard Lou Engle speak before but if I took the time to tell you the experience I had with God and this man just listening to him on a dvd... whoooooooo. And if you think I am lying about this ask: Josh Hawkins, Landon Williams, Caleb Hawkins, Ethan, Stephen Schrek, Brent Limberg, Josh Wilcoxson, Nathan Jorris,Brian.... and probably someone else in there that I am missing, they can all equally testify to the night I am referring to. And every time I think about going down to Tennessee next week I just get sooooo excited. Like I seriously cant stop talking about this thing... and its just a convention. I've never been this excited for anything. Not even my own birthday okay. And that is a special holiday alright? And everyone needs to celebrate it. NO but seriously I am not even kidding you. God has something planned and I just wish I could take everyone I know with me and prove to them that there is a God. Guys just watching this video at the end of this blog made me go nuts. I love it sooooo much and its only about 3.5 mins long. I cant wait. I'm pumped. You should be too. Even if you are not going on this trip pray that God will do something huge in your life. I know I will be praying for you. Well I'm kind of tired and I want to find more Lou Engle stuff. So watch this vidya. Ya I typed Vid-ya. Thats how I say it. Sometimes with that "Ja" Like Vidja. haha

check this ottt

blah blah blah CAMP!!! blah

2007-07-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

Current mood: awake

Ok so the time has come to testify what God has done in my life in the past week at camp. Lets just say that I went to it expecting something big. I got my mind blowwwed up. I'm not going to to lie.

Sooo Monday night service comes around and everyone is excited and nervous about what God is going to be doing. I myself am feeling a bit anxious. So prayer service was quite amazing. I had Lindsey Willams come and pray for my and my brother... which btw if somehow she is reading this... that meant the world to me and I owe you sooooo much for that. That touched my heart. Anyway the actual service was on another level amazing. Altar call that night was just the bomb diggity and I dont really have words to describe Monday night but all I remember beyond the fact that I dont remember is that it was a huggge rededication night not only for myself but the rest of our youth group as well. And beyond that it was comforting to see God working in the other youth groups across the state of Indiana in the same we has was touching ours. However I do remember praying that night that God would just continue to use me for his great works... and that was a mistake....hah.

Tuesday night service comes around and this was the beginning of something amazing. I enter prayer service about 5 minutes early and I begin to pray. I started to pray and I got about 15-20 words out and I just couldnt really pray anymore. I sat there in silence. God spoke to me and said. I want you to walk around this room, look people in the face and just be prepared to feel what they are feeling. So I do what God has told me to. And I walk around. I look certain people in the face and all i could do was groan and cry. It was horrible. I couldnt pray with these people because God had told me basically that I wasnt going to be able to say anything just that I was going to be able to weep for them. And it stunk. I wanted so badly to lay hands on them and pray for them. I couldnt speak. Only tears came streaming down the face. I continued to walk around the room and weep with only certain people. It wasnt like I was crying for everyone. But I was still crying in the faces of many people, whether they saw me or not. And I felt God speak to me again. I had felt these peoples brokeness and just pain and hunger for more of what God has in store for them. I saw their broken worship. Their wanting more of God. His healing. God spoke to me and was like this is what it was like during the time when Jesus was ministering. How many people gathered in huge crowds just to touch the cloak of Jesus. And my friends you know you serve a big, powerful, and mighty God when all you need to do is touch his cloak and you will instantly be healed.Anyway he showed me that that is what these people were wanting. Healing. And I just continued to cry. No speaking just crying. After I had cryed for awhile longer God spoke to me again. Because I was internally thinking God why are you putting me through this. what is going on? God said go back to Pastor Doug he will tell you what all of this is about. So I head on back there. Doug looks at me and says... "what is wrong?" I'm standing there... trying to speak, but I still cant. He continues to look at me. After a couple of minutes I am able to talk. I tell him all of what had just happened. And he was like this reminds me of the old testament story of the prophet Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. How God just used him to weep for people and just become filled with the Holy Spirit and be used to intercede for people and their lives. He was a man of few words but what little he did say was crucial to the people. Doug was like. That was the Holy Spirit inside of you just groaning and weeping and interceding for the people who are in need. Doug was like I dont know why you were used to intercede but I encourage you to go and pray for some people while you can. So i did. Later on that night after service the altar call came. And guess what happened. No im not going to tell you. You need to guess. Leave me a comment with your guess then I will comment you back to see if you got it right.

Haha just messing. anyway. Ron Rhoades gave the altar call and people went up there. Guess who those people were. Those people were the exact ones.... i repeat the exact ones that I had cried for. Every single one of them I had cried for. So I was standing at my seat when I noticed that and I just lost it. The beauty of the lord revealed. I understood finally why I was used in that situation. I was interceding for many different reasons and it just broke my heart the most when God chose someone like me to do something as special as that. Along with that. I knew a good number of people that were up there at the altar. That was just the icing on the cake for my crying at the beauty of the lord. I also had some great things happen with a good friend of mine named RJ (Sarah Taylor's cousin) and I'm just glad that I could be there for that man and he could be there for me. It was quite encouraging to me that God allowed us to be there for each other and just uplift one another in times of need. That was tuesday night service.

Wednesday night service rolls around. And I had just come in with a limiting heart for what God was doing in my life. I went back to Doug and I had him pray for me. It got better and he was just like "God I know what you did in this mans life last night. Dont let tonight hold him back from letting you do great things in his life" and that was just an encouragement to me because that was how i was feeling. And I remember praying again that God would just continue to use me and make me feel worth more than the garbage satan was making me feel like for limiting Gods good works. Service that night was about the healing of demon possessed men. And when Jesus had gone above all else and actually cared for two men that no one else wanted to be around and Jesus healed those two men. Altar call came that night... and I still had some feelings of me limiting Gods good works. But I was praying and was like God use me as a tool. And God was just like ok. So a good friend of mine that I had, seen around our chruch never really talked to, and made good friends at camp. (Elliot). Came up to talk to me and we talked on a personal level. He told me had a terrible stronghold in his life I was like you want me to pray for you? And he said of course... he wanted freedom from it. Who wouldnt? So I started praying and amazing things just started happening. I broke, rather God, broke down every spiritual barrier that this man had in his life. God used me to speak a prophesy over this man… that I know nothing about. And I couldn't repeat if I had tried to. Then God used me to release him of his stronghold. And I started screaming in prayer over this man… I don't remember of what but I was just screaming out this stronghold in the name of Jesus. Afterward I was breathless. My face was supposedly glowing with the glory of God, but I know nothing of that either. I remember holding my chest and people just came up to me and started praying for me. It was awesome. Afterward Elliot and I talked and he was just like wow. I feel that freedom of a newborn Christian. And he told me that he had had people pray for him about this stronghold before but it was nothing like I had prayed over him. And I just felt great that God answered my prayer and used me to help out a fellow brother. Now this is nothing prideful. I'm just boasting in the name of my God. Not in my own self achievement. So that was awesome. That I had God do something great through me. I was and still am excited about what God still has planned for me.

Thursday night service approaches and I just walk in feeling like Satan has just robbed me of my whole camp experience. I don't know why but I just felt worthless. I had a few people pray for me but it felt like nothing. I don't know why I had this feeling either. But I do know that later on that night during the altar call after service… God just spoke to me and confirmed a lot of things in my life that just overwhelmed what had happened at the beginning of service for me. God just confirmed what he is doing in my life. Pretty much the calling on my life. I'm still not quite sure where he is going to take me, but God wherever or whatever you have planned for me… let me do all things for you through you and to you. In the name of jesus I pray. God I ask that you humble my heart and you let me go further in my walk with you. God I ask that you give me freedom from the bondages and temptation of this world God. Deliver me from the secular and bring me into the spiritual. God cast out the want for material goods and bring about a desire for spiritual goods. God cast out any prideful or boastful thoughts that are anything but Godly. God I ask that right now you just help me through thoughts of" I am the greatest" and "Look at me and how far I have grown" and thoughts of "I am better than everyone else because God has used me for so much" Let me lay down my life for you in the name of Jesus. Let me just live for today for each day has enough trouble of its own. God teach me to seek first your kingdom of heaven and your holy righteousness. God teach me to sell out my life for you and I ask that you just let me live out the calling of living as a son of God. God I pray that wherever I go whatever I do I do everything that brings glory to the kingdom of heaven. God I am glad and grateful that you have delivered me from this world 9 months ago. And God I pray that since you have given me the freedom to live for you that you give freedom to those who don't know you yet in the name of Jesus. God I pray that you send someone into those people's lives that would cause them to willingly seek after your glory and hunger for your righteousness. God I pray that the kingdom of heaven would grow today and that people will one day, before you come to earth, just want to worship you with out the need of church, or service or anything else God. God I pray for success in the kingdom of heaven today and God I ask that today you win over more hearts unto the name of Jesus. God let your glory shine before the earth today. God reign over your universe today and start by giving us the city of Fort Wayne as a beginning temple to bring you glory. God I ask all of these things in the name of your Mighty son. Holy and worthy are you father. In your name I pray

Amen

Oh Jesus you are beyond describable. You go beyond Joy. You go beyond feeling. God you leave me sweetly broken and holy surrendered. God you are mine.

Noga

day, June 26, 2007

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